


Say It With Sugar

by fettuccine_alfreylo



Category: Reylo - Fandom, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi (2017), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bakery, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Chocolate, Eventual Sex, F/M, Fluff, Humor, Misunderstandings, Modern AU, Rating will change, Romance, Slow Burn, Social Anxiety, it's a chocolate shop, kind of, nothing graphic though
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2018-05-29 10:35:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 36,935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6371419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fettuccine_alfreylo/pseuds/fettuccine_alfreylo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ben Solo is the owner of his family’s small chocolate shop. Rey Kenobi is a talented chocolate maker he hires. They both share the same passion for chocolate. Unfortunately, they share the same kind of anxiety, too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> So...this happened. Let me just preface this by saying that while I have tons of firsthand experience regarding social anxiety (haha, fml) I know next to nothing about chocolate making. What I do know has been taken from Les Émotifs Anonymes, which I have shamelessly stolen this fic's plot (and some dialogue) from. Enjoy! Let me know what you think!

When Rey sees the ad in the paper for the first time, she can hardly believe it.

_Family-Owned Chocolate Shop seeking experienced chocolatier_

She’s only two years out of culinary school herself. The last few bakeries she’s worked at have had nothing to do with what she actually studied - the artistry of chocolate. It’s not like she doesn’t enjoy baking cakes, pies, and cookies around the clock but that isn’t where her passion lies. Her _passion_ lies in chocolate. Her passion lies in what her grandfather taught her, the stories he told her of his career as a chocolatier. While she may lack years of professional experience that others have in the trade, she’s been working with chocolate since she was a little girl. She has a handle on this. She _knows_ she does, even if her anxiety tells her otherwise most of the time.

So she takes a chance and applies for the position. Even though the chocolate shop called _Say It With Sugar_ is across town, she takes the bus to deliver the application in person. She’s greeted by a tall blonde woman named Phasma - Phas for short - who takes her application and offers to quickly show her around the back. She’s the co-manager, apparently, but she’s more in charge of day-to-day operations than running the business side of things. That’s the owner Mr. Solo’s job, Phas explains.

“I don't normally do this,” she confides in Rey as she guides her away from the front end of the shop and past the burly cashier whose nametag reads _Chewie_ , “But you're the first to apply so far - in person, too! - and Mr. Solo is out for a few more minutes. Business lunch.”

“He doesn’t approve of giving tours?” Rey asks, struggling to keep up with the taller woman’s longer strides.

Phas sighs. “No. This used to be run by his parents. They let school groups tour the place all the time but ever since he took over things have been more business oriented.”

Rey nods. “That’s not a bad thing.”

“No. But, uh...if I can be frank?” Phas looks over her shoulder and then back at Rey. “Things aren’t good. When his parents stepped down this place was practically bankrupt and while business has picked up slightly over the past two years, we’re still floundering. You can imagine why we’re desperate for more help.”

Rey digests this information while they continue to walk down the hallway. Phas turns a corner and pulls open a set of glass doors. Beyond is an outdated but fairly large industrial kitchen. Two workers, both of them dressed in the same black uniform, go about their work at the stainless steel tabletops. One of them is singing along to the radio. Rey follows Phas inside and she's immediately greeted by the smell of chocolate wafting through the air.

“So, this is the kitchen,” Phas offers. “We’re short-staffed right now, as you can see. We need another chocolatier to help things run more smoothly. Our head chocolatier is on medical leave and Finn has volunteered to fill in for the meantime but he’s got his work cut out for him. He’s the one over there looking stressed but still managing to sing through his problems, bless him.” Phas cups her hands around her mouth to carry her voice and bellows, “Finn, give a wave!”

A man who’s been busily piping icing over a huge tray of chocolate bonbons straightens up from his work. He waves and jogs over, wiping his hands on the front of his apron.

“Finn, this is Rey Kenobi. I’m showing her around.”

“Awesome!” He gives her a tired but genuine smile and shakes her hand. “You’re an applicant for the new chocolatier position, right? Please God, say yes. I need someone to save me. Ever since Poe broke his leg it’s been a nightmare. I feel like I’m juggling the work of ten men, not two.”

Rey smiles sympathetically. “Yeah, I am.”

“Great! I hope to see more of you around. We need someone young like you. Don’t let the boss man intimidate you when you come back for the interview, okay?”

Alarmed, Rey looks over to Phas but she just laughs. “Don’t worry. Finn is kidding.”

Finn shakes his head. “I’m really not. He can be mean at first.”

“At first?” Rey echoes.

Finn considers this. “You know what, you’re right. He’s always mean.”

“He is not, Finn, shush! Back to work.” Phas gives him a light-hearted slap on the arm and he laughs, waving both of them off as he jogs back over to his table. Phas checks her watch and her smile falters. “Uh, it’s almost twelve. Mr. Solo will be back any minute. Can I show you out?”

“No problem.” Rey follows her back to the double doors, waving to Finn again on the way out.

They make it to the front of the shop just as another man pulls open the front door and steps inside. He’s as tall as Phas but where she’s all smiles and warm welcomes, he’s nothing but intimidating. He sweeps past Chewie, Rey, and Phas without a greeting and disappears down the hallway where they’ve just come from. Rey doesn’t need to ask Phas who he is. She instinctively knows. Just like that, the anxiety that’s melted away since arriving comes back in full force. How is she supposed to survive an interview with someone like  _that_?

“You’ll hear from us shortly. It shouldn’t take more than a couple days until we start to call in people for interviews - if anyone else applies, that is! You could be the only one!” Phas tells her with a cheery smile, holding the door open for her.

Rey nods and forces herself to smile back. “Great!”

***

The next few days are the longest of Rey’s life. She keeps her phone with her at all times and sets the ringtone to the loudest possible volume though she normally hates doing it. On the third day, just as Rey is in the middle of preparing a pathetic dinner of rice and beans, the phone rings. She lurches across the tiny kitchen to fetch her phone, knocking her elbows on the counter in the process. The number on the screen isn’t one she recognizes but she answers it, positive it’s who she thinks it is.

“Hello?”

“Rey! It’s Phas, from _Say It With Sugar_. You got yourself an interview!”

Rey breathes a sigh of relief. “Yeah?”

“Yeah! How’s tomorrow sound? Around noon?”

A new wave of anxiety washes over her. Crap. She’d almost forgotten about the actual interview itself. The memory of Mr. Solo - tall, clean cut, scowling - comes flooding back to her but she shuts it out at once. She can do this. It’s just an interview, and she doesn’t even know the guy. She hasn’t even met him yet! Clearing her throat, she answers, “Absolutely! Yes. You got it. I’ll be there.”

“Great. I’ll let you go. Have a good night and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

The call ends and Rey slumps down to the kitchen floor. Her orange tabby Bebe brushes against her leg then jumps up onto the counter, eager to eat the sad little meal she no longer has any interest in.

The next day, Rey is ready two hours before she actually has to catch the bus. She’s showered, styled her hair three different ways before deciding on a simple bun, and borrowed a skirt, blouse, and shoes from her neighbor Jess. The pantsuit she wore the first time is the only nice outfit she’s got and she can’t wear it again, not if she’s going back to the same place. She has to make a good impression. This is the first interview she’s had for a chocolatier since she’s graduated - not just a pastry chef, but an _actual_ chocolatier. She cannot screw this up. She cannot.

The bus ride over is longer than it should be and cramped but it gives Rey time to think. She keeps her eyes trained on the seat in front of her, resolute as she goes over interview scenarios in her head. She comes up with an answer for every hard hitting question Mr. Solo could possibly ask.

Phas is waiting for her when she walks through the front door and her friendly smile gives Rey a much-needed boost of confidence. “Rey, hello! You’re a few minutes early but that’s great - I’m sure he’s ready to get the ball rolling. Come with me.”

Rey gives Chewie the cashier a hesitant wave as she passes him which he returns with a phrase she’s pretty sure is Russian. She follows Phas down the now-familiar back hallway, the heels of her borrowed shoes clacking against the linoleum flooring. The kitchen is as busy as it was before but Finn isn’t cracking jokes or singing songs this time. It’s no wonder why; Mr. Solo is observing his work, murmuring something to him with a shake of his head.

Phasma approaches the pair of them and clears her throat. “Hey, Ben? This is the first applicant for the position.”

Mr. Solo turns around and appraises Rey. She immediately feels unsettled by his intense stare, the way his too-large mouth puckers in apparent distaste for what he must find lacking. He motions to his office with a jerk of his head. “This way.” He clomps off, not waiting for her to follow.

Rey looks to Phas helplessly. The blonde woman offers an encouraging nod of support. Behind her, Finn gives a thumbs up. “Good luck!” they both chime.

Rey swallows nervously and turns on her heel, following Mr. Solo. She can do this. She can do this! She’s a capable chocolatier. This interview is nothing to be afraid of. She steps inside the office and takes a brief glance around, feeling herself relax a tiny bit more. The room is surprisingly homey. Bookshelves take up the entirety of one wall. A cozy looking armchair is pushed into a corner and beside it stands a reading lamp. It’s a nice space, this office. It’s at odds with the man standing a few feet from her, in the same way that the cutesy name of the shop is too.

“Have a seat,” he tells her.

She scurries to the less-comfortable looking swivel chair he’s pointing to, across from the one behind his desk. He waits until she’s seated then does the same.

“Do you have experience in the field?” he asks brusquely, slipping on a pair of glasses.

Rey pulls her resume from its folder in her bag and hands it to him, attempting a nervous smile that he does not return. “Uh, just a few years professionally, but yes.”

He gives the resume a cursory glance then leans back in his seat, giving her a critical look. “Because chocolate is a unique product, you understand. People think of it as a sweet candy but it’s more complicated than that, it’s set apart from other sweets because--”

The phone on his desk rings, interrupting his train of thought. He glances at it, then back at her, then back at the phone. The ringing fills the room, cutting through the silence but making it all the more uncomfortable, somehow.

Rey smiles, gesturing to the phone. “Please, go ahead.”

He lets it ring some more. His eyes are now fixed on her. Rey notices that the tips of his ears have gone red. When the incessant ringing continues for another round he lurches forward and picks up the handset then slams it back down. Rey jumps in her seat, letting out a small gasp of surprise.

He leans back in his seat again, spares her with the same unsettling look. Rey nervously bites the insides of her cheek. When it becomes apparent that he’s not going to pick up where he left off in the conversation she prompts, “It’s the bitterness, right?”

He blinks at her. “What?”

“The - the bitterness. Of chocolate. The varying degrees of bitterness. That’s what sets it apart, makes it such a unique product.”

He’s silent for a moment, then gives a terse nod. “You’re very knowledgeable about the subject.”

She swallows. “I try to be.”

He stands from his seat and comes around to her side of the desk, clasping his hands behind his back. He’s so tall that Rey has to strain her neck to look at him. “I couldn’t have said it better myself,” he murmurs quietly.

Rey doesn’t know what to say to that. She wrings her hands in her lap, offering him another small smile.

“Do you like it? Chocolate?” he asks abruptly.

Rey blinks. “Of course.”

“No, I mean, do you _really_ like it? Truly?” he presses.

She wets her bottom lip, tears her gaze away from his. “Yes. I love it,” she says softly. “I’ve always loved it, even when I was little. You have to love it, I think, if you’re a chocolate maker. Because really, what kind of chocolate maker can you be if you just _like_ chocolate instead of absolutely love it?”

He stands there for another moment, as though he’s processing what she’s just said. Then he springs into action and goes to the door, wrenching it open for her. “That will be all. Thank you, Miss Kenobi.”

Rey scrambles to her feet, pulling at the hem of her borrowed skirt. “Oh. Um. Thank you.”

She moves past him, trying to keep her expression neutral. That was, without a doubt, the shortest interview she's ever had. She knows she doesn't have as many years of experience as the other candidates probably do but honestly, would it have hurt him to ask her a few more relevant questions? Something besides whether she likes chocolate? What kind of interview question was that, anyway? “Do you, um...need anything else from me?” she asks him lamely.

He stares at her, hard, then looks away again. “No. That’ll be all. If you would return to the front-end, I’m sure Phasma will be with you shortly.”

“Okay. Well.” Rey forces herself to hold out her hand for him to shake. “Thank you for your time.” She can feel how sweaty her palms are, but she has to do this. Handshakes are a definite must where interviews are concerned, at least that's what she's always been told.

He shakes her hand once. It's more of a jerk than a proper shake. Then he lets go and wipes his hand on his pant leg, of all things. As if Rey needed to feel any more mortified than she already is.

Without another look back, she hurries to the front of the building, not even stopping to chat with Finn when he waves her over with a smile.

***

“Phasma, a word?”

Phasma looks up from her computer, blonde eyebrows raised. “Wow, that was quick!”

Ben sighs. “She’s the one. Miss Kenobi.”

“You’ve got three more interviews scheduled today, Ben.”

He huffs out a small irritated breath. “Yes, I know. But I've made a decision. File the paperwork. She starts tomorrow.”

Phasma’s brows reach even higher but she gives him a mock salute. “You know best. What do I tell the other applicants? The next one is due to arrive in thirty minutes, and the one after that is--”

“Tell them we’re sorry for the inconvenience but we’ve found an exemplary chocolatier for the position already.”

“O-kay. Will do. Anything else?” Phasma sighs. He knows she hates to be the bearer of bad news, but Ben will be damned if he has to talk to three other strangers today only to tell them he’s not going to hire them. Speaking of talking to strangers...

“I’ve sent Miss Kenobi to the front. Bring her back again and tell her congratulations, would you? Then introduce her to the staff. Show her around the kitchen if you haven’t already. I've got too much to do.” A lie, of course, but he doesn't think he can handle interacting with her again so soon. Just the thought of how...how _stupid_ he acted makes him sweat. Honestly, asking her if she liked chocolate? What the hell?

Once Phasma's gone to the front of the shop he makes his way back to his office and closes the door behind him, sucking in a calming breath. Then he lowers the blinds to all the windows overlooking his meager staff. He shuts out the sight of an uncertain Miss Kenobi trailing after Phasma into the kitchen again. She won't look so uncertain in a few seconds when she hears the news that she’s been hired, but he refuses to lurk from a distance and watch that toothy smile - the one he's already committed to memory -  light up her face like a goddamn Christmas tree.

Loosening his tie to let his hot neck get some much needed air, he scrambles to his desk to pick up the phone. Breathing deeply, trying to center himself, he punches in the number for his therapist.

***

“I hired a new employee today.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. But the um...the phone rang. During the interview.”

His therapist Dr. Hux stares at him. Ben rushes to explain himself. “I don’t like the phone in my office. It’s ancient. Doesn’t have caller ID. I don’t like not knowing who’s calling. Then again, I don’t like my cell either. Seeing a name pop up on the screen…” He takes a shuddering breath and then lets it out, shrugging the tension off his shoulders. “I just don’t like the phone, period. Or phone calls. They make me nervous.”

Hux knows this about him already; he gives a disinterested hum as he looks down at his notes, then back up at Ben. “So...the new employee?”

“What about her?”

“Oh, so she’s a woman.”

“What does that matter?”

“You have a problem with women, Ben.”

Ben huffs out a breath and mumbles, “I don’t have a problem with them, per se. They just terrify me, is all.”

“Can you speak up?”

“I said they - they _terrify_ me.”

Hux scribbles something down, nodding to himself. “But what about your associate? Phasma, right?”

“That’s different. She’s like family.”

“Alright. So, generally speaking, what don’t you like about women?”

Ben shakes his head irritably. “What? No. I love women. I love their smiles, their hair. Their conversation. How they laugh. They way their eyes shine.” Uncomfortable with the amount he’s shared, he lapses into silence. But that is the point of these therapy sessions, is it not? To share the parts of himself that he’s uncomfortable with? Ben sighs in resignation, raking an unsteady hand through his hair.

“Ever been in a relationship, Ben?” Hux prods.

Warning bells go off in his head - this is a trap somehow, it has to be - but he forces himself to choke out, “No. Never.”

“But wouldn’t you like to fall in love, though? With a particular woman? Get to know her? Marry her, start a family? You’re young, healthy. You're in your thirties. You run a business.”

“A failing business,” Ben mutters.

Hux pauses, gives him a tight smile. “Still. Seems like the prime time to start looking, don’t you think?

Even if he wanted to respond, Ben has no idea how to. It’s true he wants all of that for himself. He wants a relationship, wants someone to navigate the rest of his life with. He knows for a fact his parents want the same thing for him, too. But how the hell is he supposed to find someone if he’s so damn _shy_ all of the time?

Perhaps sensing his thoughts, Hux sighs and caps his pen, setting it atop his notebook. “I have some homework for you. Or you can think of it as an exercise, if you’d rather do that.”

Ben nods warily. “Okay.”

“Ask someone out.”

“Ask someone?” he echoes, his mind blanking.

Hux nods. “To go out. On a date. Not just a friendly outing. A _date_. To have dinner, to go see a movie. Or both. It doesn’t matter.”

 _Shit_. Shit shit shit. He can’t do this. What good has ever come of asking someone out? His mind readily supplies him with a flashback to twelfth grade, when he somehow mustered the courage to ask that girl from his French class to prom. Melissa. To this day he still doesn’t know why he bothered. She’d laughed at him before he even finished the question.

“Ben? Can you do that?”

Ben nods back, plastering on a fake smile. “Ask someone out. Sure.” All the while, he’s already coming up with excuses for next week’s session as to why he never got around to doing this so-called homework. Because he doesn't ask people out on dates. He hasn’t since high school, and he never will again. At least, that's what he keeps repeatedly muttering to himself on the drive home.


	2. Chapter 2

Ben doesn’t get much sleep that night.

Every time he closes his eyes and begins to drift off, he remembers the therapy session. That’s enough to jolt him wide awake every time. His alarm goes off at six-fifteen but he’s already dressed and ready to go by the time it does. Left with nothing better to do, he decides to head out early and take the scenic route to the shop, the one that goes past the lake. It gives him time to clear his head and to think realistically about the task that Hux gave him.

There are only two outcomes as far as he can see: someone takes him up on his offer of a date, or someone rejects him. Except he’s never been good with rejection in any form. He’s a perfectionist; he readily admits that about himself. He’d rather avoid a situation that could potentially lead to failure than give it a try.

Taking charge of the family business has been the one exception to this unspoken rule about himself. It hasn’t been good but it hasn’t been that bad, either. It’s true that sales are down. People don’t seem interested in buying good old-fashioned chocolate anymore. They want something new, something different. He is woefully out of his depth where that is concerned. But he’s managed to keep things moving along despite the odds stacked against him. Who’s to say his approach to asking someone out should be any different?

This mental game of gymnastics continues until he pulls up to the curbside of the shop. It's barely light out but he can make out the silhouette of someone huddled near the doorway of the shop. He turns on his brights and nearly has a heart attack. _It's her_. Rey Kenobi. She’s standing there in the cold, shielding her eyes from his headlights.

He quickly gets out of the car and approaches her, his mind reeling with how to say sorry for nearly blinding her with his obnoxious headlights. But his mind goes blank when he sees her up close.

She's wearing a mustard colored cable knit sweater, a pair of blue jeans that have seen their better days, and beat up ankle boots. Her pointy, freckled nose is rosy from the cold and she’s clutching her tote bag close to her chest for warmth. He gives a little wave, trying his best to make up for whatever tone he'd set during yesterday’s interview.

“Hello.”

“Hi.” She hugs her tote tighter to her body and smiles up at him.

Ben can feel his ears turn red. Why does this always happen to him? In theory smalltalk seems like it should be easy. It’s called smalltalk for a reason, isn’t it? But for him it’s pure torture. Especially now, standing in front of a pretty woman he wants so desperately to impress for whatever reason. Pushing himself, he manages, “It's early. How long have you been out here?”

“Not long!” she says, cheerily enough. “About ten minutes.”

Ben glances around the deserted street. “Did you drive?”

“Oh.” She tucks a stray piece of hair behind her ear and shrugs. “No, I don't drive. I have a bike but it needs some repairs. I tinker with it when I’m not busy.”

She must take a bus, then. Guilt lodges itself in his throat. How early did she leave her place to get here? Too early, even for his standards. Hadn’t Phasma checked to ensure each applicant had reliable transportation?

“How far away do you live?” he asks.

“Near the farmer’s market on Niima Street. It was only about a two hour walk.”

“You _walked_ here?”

“Yeah.” She blinks back at him with wide eyes, her cheeks flushing red with embarrassment. “Phas said to be here a little bit before seven today but the buses don’t start running until seven on Saturday and it’s nice enough out. Not too chilly yet. So I figured I’d enjoy the October weather while it lasts.”

Ben stares at her blankly, none of her other words registering. “You walked here, _alone,_ when it’s barely light out?”

She dangles her set of keys, showing off a small can of portable pepper spray attached on a keychain. “It’s okay. I can handle it.”

He looks at her, really looks at her. She's small but athletic and is probably much stronger than her build suggests. Yes, it looks like she can handle herself just fine. But she shouldn’t have to. The commute to work each day should be the least of everyone’s worries. He has to solve this, fast.

“I'll change the weekend hours, then. From here on out get here at 8 sharp instead of 7.”

... _Though maybe not that fast_ , he cringes inwardly. Weekends are the busiest time and starting an hour later will set production back. But he can’t keep letting her walk to work every weekend by herself. It’s either this or offer to pick her up and that means car rides spent in her company to and from work. _Alone_. Having to come up with conversations to fill the silence. He can feel himself breaking out in a sweat just thinking about it.

Yes, opening the shop later is the safer option. If production is delayed, so be it.

Rey shakes her head. “Oh no no, that’s okay--”

“It’s my call,” he informs her, in too brisk a tone for his liking. She snaps her mouth shut and Ben immediately feels like shit. He stands before her a moment longer, once again at a loss of what to say. This entire ‘new employee’ situation has gone from bad to worse. On the off chance that she didn’t think he was an asshole before, he’s fully convinced she does now.

Cursing under his breath, Ben goes to unlock the front door of the shop. He holds it open for Rey and she wordlessly nods before hurrying inside to the back, her messy topknot bouncing with each step. Ben watches her go, his shoulders slumping in relief when she’s finally out of sight.

“Fuck,” he groans.

***

As far as first days on the job are concerned, the start of this one ranks up there as one of the worst.

Rey had been there by seven just like Phas had asked, expecting to be welcomed inside by the bright and bubbly blonde. Except Mr. Solo had pulled up to the curbside instead. She hadn’t even made it ten seconds into the conversation before exposing her not-so-reliable transportation that she fibbed about on the application. And to make it even more mortifying, he’d _changed_ the hours of weekend operation to accommodate her, scowling like he had a stormcloud over his head when she’d tried to make him reconsider. 

She hasn’t seen him since that happened this morning and it’s nearly lunchtime. He’s in his office, blinds drawn on the windows that overlook the kitchen. Rey much prefers it this way. She’s determined to make at least a decent impression on the rest of the staff and produce high quality work on top of that, and she knows she won’t be able to accomplish either one of those things with Mr. Solo always in her peripheral vision.

“Everything okay, Rey?”

Finn’s voice pulls Rey from her distracted thoughts. As outgoing as she is quiet, he has been the bright side of this otherwise crappy morning, effortlessly filling the lulls in conversation with chatter, humming, and jokes.

Rey sets aside her finished tray of freshly hardened cherry-filled chocolate shells to watch Finn hand whisk a bowl of heavy cream for chocolate mousse. “Fine.”

“Just fine?”

“I’m still learning the ropes, I guess.”

Finn looks pointedly at her chocolate then back to her. “Looks like you already know the ropes.”

Rey glances over to where the other worker Mitaka is busy at the stovetop tempering a new batch of chocolate. She figures if there’s anyone she can tell about her mess-up this morning, it’s these two. They’re going to be her coworkers for the foreseeable future and she has to open up to them sooner or later.

“To be completely honest, I don’t think Mr. Solo likes me all that much. I was here when he opened the shop this morning and I had to explain why I didn’t take the bus today and…I don’t know. I guess I got off on the wrong foot with him.”

Finn sighs. “Don't feel bad about it, Rey. He doesn't like anyone. Mitaka’s known him since high school but he still acts prickly towards him.”

“It’s true,” Mitaka pipes up, looking cautiously over his shoulder in the direction of Mr. Solo’s office. “He was the same way back then as he is now. Don’t take it personally.”

Rey bites her lip in thought. “Before you two were hired, how long did your interview last with him?”

Finn visibly shudders. “He grilled me for an hour. It was a nightmare.”

Mitaka nods. “I’ve never sweated more in my life. There was sweat in places I didn’t even know I _could_ sweat.”

“You and me both, man.” Finn stops whisking for a moment and narrows his eyes at her. “Why, what happened? You were only in there for a matter of minutes.”

“Did he - I mean, not that you’d remember every question, but did he ask you if you liked chocolate?”

Finn bursts out laughing. “Oh my God! Did he really ask you that?”

Rey nods. “That and if I had experience. That was it.”

“Shit, maybe he likes you!”

Rey can feel a blush creeping over her cheeks despite the absurdity of it all. “No, he seemed busy and distracted. Like the interview was a complete nuisance and I was wasting his time.”

“Rey, he was distracted because you're probably the third girl he’s ever talked to in his life. That's including his mom and Phas.”

“Don't be mean,” Mitaka chides.

Finn laughs again. “Alright, alright. But still. I’ve worked here the longest aside from Poe and neither of us have ever seen him with a girlfriend. Or boyfriend, for that matter. Have you, Mitaka?”

“No. We had a lot of the same classes in school but I never remember him dating anyone. Mostly kept to himself,” Mitaka says.

“Sounds a bit like me,” Rey mumbles.

Finn waggles his eyebrows. “Well, you know what they say…‘birds of a feather’…”

Rey grimaces. “Oh God.”

“Sorry, sorry. In all seriousness though, if you’re worried about starting off on the wrong page with him, sooner or later he’ll realize what an asset you are. We’ve made our weekend supply in a fraction of the time we usually do and it’s all thanks to you. You’re like a chocolate wizard or something, it’s crazy. I look away for one second and the next thing I know you’re all done.”

Rey busies herself with cleaning up her work station to keep her proud smile in check. “This is my dream job. I can’t help but throw every bit of my energy into it.”

“Well, just know you couldn’t have come at a better time. Mitaka and I owe you one. In fact, what do you say we treat you to lunch? There’s a diner a block away from here that makes a mean grilled cheese.”

For a split second, Rey considers coming up with an excuse - her anxiety is telling her no, that she brought lunch and she shouldn’t waste it, that Finn’s just being nice and doesn’t really want to invite her, that a lunch out with new coworkers means opening up even more - but then she sees their faces. Both of them are smiling at her - expectant, encouraging, and genuine smiles and she can’t help but return one in full.

“That would be lovely,” she says.

***

Sales for this month are even worse than Ben thought. Even with the uptick in customers that the weekend usually provides, there’s barely enough to cover the basic necessities and everyone’s paychecks. Something has to change, and quickly...or else he’ll have to take out another loan to add to the company’s considerable debt or even worse, accept the deal that was offered to him.

Frederick Snoke had seemed sincere in his willingness to buy the business while promising to maintain its integrity, but Ben knows a shark when he sees one. If he were to change his mind and accept Snoke’s deal, he’d be doing it with the knowledge that _Say It With Sugar_ would never be the same. The thought alone is all the motivation he needs to keep this place up and running for a little longer while he figures out what the hell he’s going to do.

Ben leans back in his chair, raking his hand through his already disheveled hair. It’s nearly 4 o’clock and he’s been here in his office all day - mostly to get these monthly figures sorted, but also in small part due to a certain new employee. But he’s brain dead and starting to lose focus and he could _really_ use a distraction, if only for a couple minutes.

As if on cue, Phasma’s voice comes through on his office phone’s intercom.  

“Ben?”

“Yeah?”

He must sound grumpier than he feels because she lets out a laugh. “Wow, hello to you too! Haven’t seen you all day, you okay in that fortress of yours?”

“Crunching numbers.” Ben pushes himself up from his chair and goes to the window, opening the blinds enough to see out into the kitchen. Looks like Finn, Mitaka and Rey are wrapping up for the day.

Phasma snorts. “Sounds riveting. Listen, your mom’s on Line One. Talk to her, for fuck’s sake. I can’t chat with her about Dancing With the Stars all day - I still have to empty Chewie’s till up front before I leave.”

With a sigh, Ben goes back to his desk to check his cell phone. Five missed calls from his mom. No wonder she’s resorted to bothering Phas via the landline instead.

“Shit. How long ago did she call you?”

“Nearly twenty minutes.”

“Alright, thanks. Send her through.”

“Thank God.”

Phas clicks off and transfers the call. Within seconds the familiar gravelly voice of his mother fills the quiet of the room.

“Ben?”

“Mom, hi.”

“Hi sweetheart. You didn’t call us last night like you usually do so I wanted to check in. How are you?”

“Yeah, sorry. I had an appointment right after work and had a lot on my mind. I’m fine.”

“Just fine?”

“Busy.”

“Well I can certainly understand that. How did that meeting with that man go? The one who’s interested in the business?”

“Snoke, yeah. We talked over lunch a few days back.”

“And?”

“I told him I wasn’t interested.”

His mom heaves a sigh. “Oh, honey. You don't have to keep it afloat if you can’t manage.”

“I _am_ managing, Mom.”

Leia is silent for a while, digesting what he’s told her. He can hear Artoo’s wheezing bark in the background, and what sounds like his dad singing Sinatra.

“Mom?”

“Sorry, still here. Just thinking. Well, I’ll say this - at least you know now there's another option on the table if you decide it’s too much. Lord knows your dad and I understand the pressure involved in running it,” she says gently.

“I have to keep it going. It’s what grandma and grandpa would have wanted.”

There’s that silence again on the other end. His mom finally murmurs, “I’m proud of you. You know that?”

Ben groans. “Mom, come on.”

“Oh, hush. You know it’s true. Hey, do you want to come over for dinner tonight? Your dad is making broccoli cheddar soup.”

“From scratch!” his father yells from a distance.

“From scratch,” his mom approves.

Ben sighs, rubbing the stubble on his chin. He doesn’t think he can handle a night spent at his parents right now, not after the past couple days he’s had. As if he didn’t have enough work-related problems on his mind before, that homework that Hux gave him yesterday has only added to his mounting anxiety. His mom and dad asking about his therapy over dinner would only make him feel worse, with their awkward but well intentioned words of encouragement.

“Uh, no. Sounds great but I can’t tonight.”

“Really? You’re usually done by five and we don’t eat until around seven anyway so that’ll leave you plenty of time to--”

“Mom, no. Sorry. Some other time.”

His mom lets out a little hum on the other line. A telltale sign of suspicion. “We haven’t seen you in three weeks. Facetime and phone calls don’t count. You live less than thirty minutes away.”

“Yeah I know Mom, but I just--” He doesn’t know what prompts him to do it; his mom has always been able to tell when he’s not being entirely forthcoming. But he’s so damn _tired_ of giving her the same answer - that he doesn’t feel up to it - and then hearing the poorly concealed disappointment in her upbeat reply. He clears his throat and tries to sound as convincing as possible. “I’ve got a date tonight, alright? I’ve got a date. That’s why I can’t come over.”

“A _date_?!”

“Yes.”

“With who!”

Ben cringes. God, this is getting worse. He’d meant to keep it vague, but he should have _known_ his mom would hound him for every detail. He glances out to the kitchen and sees that Finn and Rey are the only ones left. She’s laughing at something Finn is saying, with that ridiculously beaming smile spread across her face again. An idea comes to him in a split second.

“A girl from work.”

“ _Phasma?!_ ”

Ben stifles a groan. “No, not Phasma. She’s still very much gay and engaged to Bazine.”

“Well who is it, then?”

“She’s new.”

“What’s her name?”

“Mom--”

“Just tell me!”

He’s come this far in the lie. Ben figures if he makes up a random name for a girl who doesn’t exist, it’ll make it less convincing. What’s that saying, that the best lies are full of small truths? “Rey. Her name is Rey.”

“Rey. What a pretty name.” He can tell from his mom’s tone that she’s smiling, and her voice is also verging on watery. _Christ_.

“Are you _crying_?” Ben asks, incredulous.

“What, no! I’m not crying!”

“Yes, she is!” his dad yells again, sounding closer to the phone this time. “Congratulations, kid. What’s her last name? I can look her up on the Facebook, haha!”

Ben is quickly losing what little patience he has. “Okay, no. Tell Dad absolutely not. Seriously, I need to go.”

His mom sniffles. “Well hang on a second! You can’t drop this news and just hang up. Where are you taking her?”

“I haven’t decided.”

“You gonna take her to Maz’s?” his dad shouts in the background.

“Am I on speaker?”

“Well, you are now.”

Ben sighs. “I haven’t decided, Dad.”

“Well if you do go to Maz’s, don’t order the Pesto Chicken like you always do. It’s delicious but it’s full of garlic and if you’re thinking of kissing--”

“Hanging up now.”

“Alright, but just--”

Ben disconnects and rubs at his temples. _What the fuck did he just do_? He’d been prepared to lie to his therapist about a date, or give some bullshit excuse about being too busy, but lying to his parents?! He’s screwed. So very, very screwed. He can barely string two sentences together in front of his new hire and now he either has to do the impossible and _ask her out_ , or live with the shame and embarrassment if his parents find out he’s made it all up. And he’s positive they will find out eventually. His mom knows practically everyone in town and his dad is _way_ too good at ferreting out people’s personal information online.

Ben curses and pulls at his shirt’s stiff collar. This is definitely, _definitely_ not the distraction he’d envisioned for himself after a mind numbing day of finances.

***

Rey is all cleaned up and ready to leave with Finn when she hears a cleared throat from behind them, followed by a request that singlehandedly negates the improvements to her anxiety over the course of the day:

“Miss Kenobi. May I see you in my office for a minute?” Mr. Solo asks, though not unkindly.

Rey pastes on a smile she doesn’t feel and turns around to face him. _This can’t be good_. She suddenly feels like a tennis ball is lodged in her throat but she manages to say yes. Seemingly satisfied with her answer, Mr. Solo goes back to his office without another word. Rey turns to Finn, trying to keep her voice steady.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?” _If I still have a job by then_ , her anxiety sees fit to add.

Finn nods. “Tomorrow, bright and early.” He leans in closer and squeezes her shoulder reassuringly, as though reading her frantic thoughts. “Hey, you’re okay. You aren’t going anywhere. You’re a chocolate wizard, remember?” he murmurs.

Rey blinks back what she knows to be the start of some tears. “Yeah.”

“Alright, Rey. Have a good night.”

 _Don’t go,_ she wants to shout as she watches him leave. But within seconds he’s already out the kitchen doors, leaving her very much alone. Taking a steadying breath, Rey makes her way across the kitchen to Mr. Solo’s office and peers in. He’s at his desk wearing those glasses again, his hands steepled in front of his mouth as he reads over something on his computer.

“Mr. Solo?”

He looks up and she notices his ears are flushed red again, just as they were yesterday during the interview. A sign of suppressed anger, maybe? Or annoyance? Hot body temperature? She can’t think what else.

“Could you close the door, please?” He stands from his chair and makes his way around the desk. Rey does what he says, though she keeps her back ramrod straight against the closed door, maintaining some distance as he approaches her.

“Miss Kenobi,” he starts.

Rey can’t stand this any longer. She _can’t_. She has to know. She has to rip off the band-aid. Get it over and done with as painlessly as possible and then bolt out the door before he can see her cry. “Am I being fired?” she asks, her voice impossibly small and weak to her ears. She hates herself for it.

Mr. Solo freezes, his brows furrowed and that familiar scowl pulling at the corners of his mouth once again. “What? No. Of course not. Did you think you were going to be?”

Now she’s thoroughly confused. “Well - I thought - after this morning...yes?”

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“But...I didn’t tell the truth on my application about my transportation situation, and then you had to go and change the hours around because of me.”

“That’s not an issue at all. I apologize if I made it seem as though it was.”

“Oh. Okay.” Well, that’s certainly a relief to hear him say, though she still isn’t sure why else he’d want to speak to her alone. The silence between them stretches on, and she adds as an afterthought, “Thanks, Mr. Solo.”

“Call me Ben.”

Rey blinks. She knows his first name is Ben, of course. She heard Phas say it yesterday. But it’s strange he wants her to say it, seeing as he’s her boss and she barely knows him. “Ben. Thanks.”

“You're welcome.”

They stand there in uncomfortable silence for a few seconds more. Rey forces herself to speak up. “You can call me Rey, then. Short for Lorreine but...no one calls me that, honestly. Or Miss Kenobi, either. Not that I have a problem with you calling me that. It’s just...um. I don’t hear it a lot.”  

Mr. Solo - _Ben_ \- nods once and clears his throat. “Rey. I won’t keep you here for long.”

Rey waits to hear if he says anything further. Just like yesterday, he doesn’t. This is like pulling teeth. Since when has _she_ been the one to guide a conversation? Not often, certainly not if she can avoid it.

“Is there something I can help you with?” she asks.

She watches him as he swallows and then purses his lips, like he’s just sucked on a lemon.

“Have dinner with me?”

Her mind goes blank. “Have dinner--?”

“With me, yes. Tonight. 8 o’clock. You said you lived near the farmer’s market, correct? There’s an Italian restaurant that’s about halfway between your place and here, called Maz’s. The pasta is good.”

For the second time today, Rey finds herself trying to push aside the anxiety that usually follows any sort of social invitation extended to her. Except it’s much harder to overcome her nerves this time. This time, it isn’t a low key lunch with her easygoing co-workers. This time, it’s dinner at a restaurant. With her boss. Her intimidating, slightly terrifying boss who looks like he belongs in a high fashion magazine. Everything that could possibly go wrong probably will, but still...it’s dinner. Something she never gets invited to by anyone else.

Mind made up, Rey blurts out the first thing that comes to mind before she can manage to psyche herself out even further.

“Do they have wine?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi there! Welcome back. It's been forever since I've updated this fic but I'm trying to get back into it. This chapter kind of got away from me, but in a good way! I'm aiming to have a new chapter up every week from now until The Last Jedi comes out but we'll see how it goes. Please let me know what you think!
> 
> Edit: I also made an aesthetic for this fic, because of course I did. You can look at it [here](http://fettuccine-alfreylo.tumblr.com/post/167924631359/say-it-with-sugar-ben-solo-is-the-owner-of-his).


	3. Chapter 3

It’s completely pouring down rain when Rey steps off the bus two blocks away from Maz’s. She knows she must look a mess. With only a few hours to spare between leaving work and catching a bus to make it here, she didn’t have much time to get ready. Hair still wet, minimal makeup, wearing thrifted Mary Jane heels she hasn’t ever worn before and the only dress she owns: a bright yellow one that’s very much out of its summer element in this cool fall weather. Still, it’s a far more appropriate outfit for dinner than the sweaters and jeans that make up most of her wardrobe.

She sprints the rest of the way to the restaurant, avoiding puddles along the way as best as she can. The moment she steps inside she’s greeted by a small, wizened old lady with round glasses that take up half her face. On the wall directly behind her there’s a painted caricature of her likeness holding a huge plate of spaghetti. She gathers this must be the owner Maz herself.

“Well hello there! Nice of you to sprint in. Welcome to Maz’s.”

“Hi! I’ve come to eat,” Rey blurts out, trying to disguise how winded she really is.

The little old lady looks her up and down. “You can do a lot of that here. Just a table for one?”

“No, actually - I’m meeting my boss. He may already be here. Tall, dark hair?”

Maz sighs dramatically. “Darling, I’ve seen so many men come and go in my life that I’m afraid you’ll have to be more specific.”

“The reservation is probably under Solo?”

“Solo?!”

“Is he here?”

The old lady claps with glee, taking Rey’s hand in her weathered one to pull her further along into the crowded restaurant. “Oh he’s here alright! Been here for nearly thirty minutes, fussing about the wine selection and asking how much garlic is in every one of my dishes. Humph! If he’d _told_ me he was meeting someone here I wouldn’t have given him such a hard time about that! But no, he’s a Solo through and through. Never tells me anything unless I have to force it out of him, even though I’ve known him since he was in diapers!”

Rey doesn’t register half of what Maz is saying because she’s already spotted the big, hulking form of Ben Solo a few tables away. He’s out of his work clothes, wearing a green flannel button up. He looks...nice. More than nice. Rey is once again faced with how attractive he really is. Attractive in an unconventional way, perhaps, but still very attractive. As though sensing her gawking at him he looks up, catches her eye, and is out of his seat in a flash like he’s been burned.

“Yes, here she is! I found your little lady!” Maz crows triumphantly, nudging Rey the rest of the way to the table. She scurries away in a flash, chattering to herself about getting a candle for some added ‘mood lighting’. Ben’s face is as red as a beet and Rey can feel hers turning a matching shade. There’s no way she can make this any less awkward, but she can at least pretend she didn’t just hear the restaurant owner call her Ben’s “little lady”.

“Er, hello,” Rey fumbles with the strap of her purse self-consciously. She shrugs it off her shoulder and hangs it and her jacket on the back of her chair. “I’m so sorry I’m late. I had to catch a later bus.”

Ben doesn’t say anything back, which doesn’t come as a surprise anymore; instead he springs into motion, rushing to pull back her chair for her so she can sit down.

“Thanks,” she murmurs, sitting as gracefully as she can in her unfamiliar heels.

When he’s back in his seat, he actually _does_ surprise her by speaking up first. “You’re wearing yellow.”

“Sorry?”

“It’s just--” He gestures across the table to her. “You were wearing yellow this morning, before you got your uniform. And now you’re wearing it again.”

She can feel the blush return to her cheeks in full force. He’d noticed what she was wearing this morning? “Yes. It’s my favorite color.”

“You must have a lot of yellow in your closet.”

“I do, now that I think of it.”

He’s silent for a few seconds, then asks, “Why is yellow your favorite?”

It’s an odd question, but this one she can definitely answer with minimal trouble. “Well...in primary school, there was this girl who used to pick on me a lot. Eleanor. One day I wore this bright yellow corduroy dress to school and she said I looked like a singed daffodil with my yellow dress and dark hair. I remember running home that day and crying into my granddad’s cardigan until it soaked through. But he told me, ‘A singed daffodil is still a daffodil, isn’t it? This Eleanor knows you’re as lovely as a flower - she admitted it herself.’ So that just made me want to wear yellow more. He used to say people can’t hurt you if you turn their power back on them, and I guess he was right. I just wish that advice came as easily to me now as it did when I was six.”

She looks up. There’s that scowl of his again. She’s starting to wonder if scowling is his default thinking face rather than an indication of anger, because she can’t fathom which part of her answer he could have possibly taken issue with.

“So...long story short that’s why I’m always in yellow. What’s your favorite color?”

He abruptly stands up from his seat again, the legs of his chair making a horrible squeaking noise as they slide against the floor. “It’s green. Excuse me for one second. I’ll be back.”

“Okay--”

But he’s already halfway across the dining room, clutching a briefcase she hadn’t noticed before. He disappears down a hallway and Rey slumps down in her seat slightly, digging through her purse until she finds what she’s looking for. The conversation cards. She’d written them on the bus ride over, her reason being that if she had to carry on another conversation with Ben Solo, she’d at least be prepared to have a semi-intelligent discussion this time around.

“Let’s see. Politics? No, that’s a bit heavy. Finance? God, why’d I even write that one down?” She flips through them one by one disparagingly. Sports? All men like sports, don’t they? American men like American football. Too bad she doesn’t know any of the rules, any of the teams, or why the Superbowl is a thing every year.

Hands shaking, Rey places the cards in her lap. “I’m no good at this,” she mutters.

“If you’re at a loss of what to talk about, you should ask him about his family. They’re the reason he’s kept that chocolate shop up and running, you know.”

Maz is back, this time with a tea light candle in a mason jar. She sets it down in the middle of the table with a hum of satisfaction. “I know he’s not the easiest person to talk to but keep at it, hm?” Maz nods towards the conversation cards. “And I’d lose those, if I were you. You don’t need them to impress him. He’s already yours.”

“Oh...no. I — we’re just — I’m his new employee. We’re not together. He’s not mine,” Rey rushes to explain.

“Oh, honey. You should have seen his face when he saw you! Like you put the moon in the sky.”

Rey splutters. “It’s not like that! Really. I think it’s just a business dinner...thing.” That’s what she’s been repeatedly telling herself ever since he asked her to dinner back in his office. The _other_ possibility, the one in which he’s asked her here for a _romantic_ dinner, fills her stomach with butterflies. Best not to think about that scenario at all, really. “Yeah, a business dinner. To get to know each other.”

Maz doesn’t look convinced at all. “Uh huh. I’m sure Ben worries over the wine selection for all the _business dinners_ he never goes on with pretty little ladies.”

That shuts Rey right up. Maz just smiles knowingly. “Speaking of, you look like you could use some wine. I’ll bring you both a glass of our best red. What about to eat? Ben always gets the pesto chicken but if you ask me, the lasagna is the best thing here. Old family recipe.”

Still flustered, Rey glances at the menu. “Um. Yes please. Both to the wine and lasagna.”

“You got it!” Maz takes her menu from her and fusses with the candle again. “And remember what I said. Ask about his family. If there’s anything he’ll open up about, it’s that.”

Rey nods. “Right. Family. Thank you.”

She watches Maz flitter off to mingle with the other diners, most of whom appear to be older couples or families. Rey is all at once aware of how out of place she is here; young, unattached, and alone. Well, not entirely alone. It just feels that way when your dinner companion disappears for minutes at a time. She won’t feel as alienated once he comes back from wherever he ran off to.

Rey checks her watch and sighs. _If_ he ever comes back from wherever he ran off to, she thinks glumly.

***

Tucked away in the too-small bathroom, Ben wipes at his underarms with his discarded shirt and then puts it back in his briefcase, switching the flannel out with an identical looking one. He’s a sweaty mess already and he hasn’t even been in her company for more than a couple minutes. If he can last the whole dinner without soaking through the three shirts he’s brought with him, it’ll be a miracle.

“Christ,” he mutters, his fingers shaking as he tries to button up the front of his shirt. This changing shirts idea isn’t going as smoothly as he’d planned it out in his head, and neither is the dinner. He thought he’d felt nervous enough before she arrived, but that was nothing in comparison to how utterly _terrified_ he felt when he saw her standing there across the room, looking like a damn Vincent van Gogh sunflower painting come to life in that yellow dress.

To make matters worse, he hasn’t been able to come up with anything interesting to add to their very limited conversation so far. She’s done most of the talking, which doesn’t seem right, somehow. He’s the one who invited her to dinner, and he’s the one who should be making sure that she’s having a good time - not asking stupid questions that she’s probably answered a thousand times before.

“‘Why is yellow your favorite color’? Jesus, a preschooler could think up a better conversation,” he berates himself, finally managing to pop the last button into place. He stashes his briefcase in the cabinet under the sink for later, then takes a long hard look at himself in the mirror. He looks mad. Frustrated. At himself, he is. At her, he isn’t. He can’t go out there looking this angry. It will send the opposite impression than he intends to send.

He pushes his hair back from his face and forces himself to smile at his reflection. But all he sees when he does is a man who looks like he wants to launch himself out of a window.

“Shit.”

With a groan, Ben fishes his phone out of his pocket and opens up the app that Dr. Hux had told him about. It’s full of self-affirmations that you repeat in the mirror like ‘I am calm, at peace, and in charge of my life’ or ‘I am _definitely_ not freaking out about the cute British girl named Rey with a smile like sunshine and a dress to match.’

He hardly ever uses it because he thinks it’s stupid and not really that helpful. But if there’s anything he can do to get himself acting vaguely normal on this dinner date, he will most certainly do it. He’s just that desperate.

***

Precisely ten minutes have passed since he disappeared down that hallway. Rey’s been counting, and she’s starting to think that something is seriously wrong. Maybe he has a stomach bug. Maybe she’s a terrible conversationalist. Either way, she doesn’t know what to do. She can’t just leave her seat and go find him. One, because that’s a bit mental, and two, what if he comes back and she’s not here? Will he think she’s left for good? That she isn’t interested in...whatever this is? She can’t let that happen. She _is_ interested and she _does_ want to be here...even if he’s been gone for - Rey checks her watch again - eleven minutes now.

She takes a huge gulp of her wine to steady her nerves and that’s when she notices him finally lumber back into the dining room again, sans briefcase. Rey doesn’t think much of it. She’s just glad he’s back and she doesn’t have to sit by herself anymore.

“Hi.” He slumps down in his seat and reaches for his own glass of untouched wine, chugging half of it down in one go.

“Everything okay?” She asks, because truth be told he doesn’t look okay. His face is sweating and he looks a little bit too pale. Maybe she’s right about him having a stomach bug.

“Yeah, fine. Sorry for the wait. I was--” He stops and pulls at the top button of his shirt. “Checking on something. Have you ordered?”

She nods. “Lasagna. Maz has been back to get your order a few times, but you were--” She doesn’t want to point out the issue that he’s been gone for over ten minutes, because he’s already looking more uncomfortable by the second. So she takes Maz’s previous advice and changes the topic. “How’s your family?”

“Sorry?” He looks thoroughly confused now, but not as uncomfortable. Surely that’s a start?

“Erm - I didn’t phrase that well. What I mean is - tell me about them. They used to run the shop before you, didn’t they? Phas was telling me…”

He’s quiet for a good bit, and she’s almost convinced he’s not going to say anything at all. But then he _smiles_ . It’s a small smile, but it’s there, and it makes her inexplicably happy for some reason. 

“Well, it was originally my grandparent’s place. My grandma loved chocolate, and my grandpa loved her, so he decided to open a business.”

“That sounds lovely. Like something out of a movie. Did your grandpa know a lot about chocolate before he started?”

Ben shakes his head. “No. My grandpa was a chef by trade but he’d never worked with sweets in that capacity. Luckily his former teacher had. My grandpa was his top student in culinary school. So, when my grandpa wrote him a letter to say he was opening up a chocolate shop, his teacher dropped everything and moved here to help him start out.”

Rey smiles, reminded of her own grandfather and his love of all things chocolate. “Sounds like he was a very good friend.”

“He was. I think he moved back to live in England somewhere eventually, but they remained in contact till my grandpa passed away.”

“I’m sorry. Were you close with your grandpa?”

“No. He died before I was born. I didn’t know my grandma, either. My mom and uncle have told me plenty of stories, though, so I feel like I do know them, in a way.”

This is the most Rey has ever heard him speak before. His demeanor has completely changed since he started talking about his family; he seems softer, somehow. Not uncomfortable or stilted in his speech. His deep voice is gentle and sweet as he reminisces about his grandparents. It’s pretty clear he loves them even though he never got to meet them, and she doesn’t want him to stop.

“So that’s how your mum got into the business, then? She took it over from your grandparents?”

“Yeah. After my grandma died and my grandpa got too sick to look after it properly, he asked my mom and uncle to step up. They practically lived in the shop growing up, so they both knew enough by then to keep it running for a good while.”

“Is your uncle still around?”

“Yeah, he is. Chewie, my dad, and my uncle go way back. They were all roommates at one point. My uncle was the one to introduce my parents, actually.”

“Your family sounds awesome.”

Ben smiles again and shrugs. “They’re alright. What about yours?”

“What?”

“Your family.”

“Oh.” All this talk of his lovely and close-knit family has made her temporarily forget that she doesn’t have one. At least not anymore. Ever since her granddad died she’s been by herself. It’s not a source of embarrassment, per se, but it does make her sad to think about, sometimes...the realization that she doesn’t have anyone left to call her own. “I don’t have a family, actually. My mum and dad weren’t ever in the picture so my granddad raised me. After he died I moved here, to the States. He stayed here at some point in his life and bought a small little house on the edge of town so that’s where I live now.”

She looks up and can tell that Ben has closed himself off again for whatever reason. Has she said too much, too soon? She hadn’t intended to be such a buzzkill but she’d answered truthfully, despite how depressing her truth actually is.

“So...that’s my situation. Not the most uplifting, but...I’ve got a great cat named Bebe! He’s like family to me.” She inwardly winces at how pathetic that sounds.

Ben opens his mouth to say something then closes it, standing up from his chair. _Oh no_. Not this again. Things had been going so _well_! Really, really well. Far better than Rey ever expected this dinner to go.

He clears his throat, looking anywhere but her. “I have to...check on something. Again. Excuse me.”

Rey can only watch in dismay as he hurries back down the hallway he’d come from. Maz brings her lasagna a few minutes later, looking pointedly at Ben’s empty seat then back to her.

“Still hasn’t come back?”

“He did. For a couple minutes. Then he left again.”

Maz refills her wine glass and then pats her shoulder comfortingly. “I’ll go see what’s the matter. Sounds like irritable bowel syndrome, if you ask me.”

She doesn’t fully process that last part until Maz has already left. Maybe it’s the wine or her nerves but Rey can’t help it - she bursts out laughing, loud enough to draw a few stares. But she doesn’t care. At this point she can either laugh or cry at the sheer ridiculousness of the situation she’s in, and she’d rather have the other diners think she’s slightly deranged than for anyone here to see her tears.

***

Ben’s pretty sure he’s having an anxiety attack. He hasn’t had one in awhile so he can’t be completely sure, but it feels like one. He’s struggling to breathe, he’s already sweated through the new shirt he just put on, and he swears he can hear a woman pounding on the bathroom door - but this is the men’s room. Why would a woman want to get in here?

There’s more pounding, louder this time, accompanied by a voice he now recognizes as Maz’s. “Ben!”

Oh. He hadn’t been imagining that pounding noise, then. Pushing himself up to standing from where he’s doubled over at the sink, Ben manages to make his way over to unlock the bathroom door. He opens it just enough to see through the crack.

“Maz?”

“Jesus, you look awful. What’s wrong?”

“I feel dizzy.”

“Let me in!” She puts her foot in the door to widen it and after his halfhearted struggle to close it again, he relents. She pushes through and quickly locks the door back behind her before turning to face him, worry written all over her face. “Do you need me to call an ambulance? Or your parents?”

“God, no.” The last thing he needs is for his mom and dad to swoop in and make this spectacularly shitty night even worse. “I just need a few minutes is all.”

“Ben. Your date is still waiting out there. She’s sitting alone with her lasagna.”

“I know! I know that!” he yells, before he can stop himself. He crumbles before Maz’s pitying, knowing gaze and slumps to the bathroom floor. It’s cooler down here, and he can slowly but surely feel himself regain control of his breath.

Eventually Maz sits down beside him, right under the hand dryer. “It’s the anxiety?”

“Yes.” He hates talking about it, even with Hux, but there’s no use denying it. Maz can detect bullshit from a mile off. “I’m sorry I yelled at you, just now.”

“I’ve dealt with worse in my time, Ben.” Maz pats his knee understandingly. “What can I do to help?”

“Can you call a taxi for Rey? I’ll pay you.” He digs into his pocket, trying to find his wallet.

Maz sighs. “Ben…”

“How much for the dinner? Forty? Here’s sixty, that should be enough to cover her meal and her taxi home and then some for the trouble.” He shoves a wad of twenties at her but she pushes his hand right back.

“You can’t keep running away, Ben. She seems like a nice girl and she’s still here, isn’t she? Whatever you think went wrong probably didn’t.”

It _had_ , though. She’d asked about his family and before he knew it, he found himself opening up more to a complete stranger than he ever had before. But then he’d asked about her family and could only sit dumbly and watch as she struggled to answer that she didn’t have one. No parents, no distant relatives, not even the grandfather she’d briefly talked about earlier. She had no one left, and the thought that _he_ was so lucky to have a family who he then purposely avoided while she went without _anyone_ made him sick to his stomach with guilt.

“I can’t go back out there,” he tells Maz, feeling like the absolute biggest asshole in the world for refusing to listen to her voice of reason. But his anxiety - it’s never been this bad before. Not for as long as he can remember. He’s thirty-three and shouldn’t be about to pass out from a date, but that’s the situation he’s in right now. He needs out. Fresh air, room to breathe, room to think. Away from all the couples out there who make it seem like going on a date is as simple as tying a shoe. Away from _her_ , with her bright eyes and hopeful smiles reserved just for him.

Maz regards him for a moment and then reaches for one of his twenties, stuffing it in her pocket. “For the taxi. Dinner is on the house. I’ll tell her that you aren’t feeling well.”

“Thank you.” He still feels like shit for what he’s doing, but he can already feel the panic lessening with each inhale of breath he takes. He doesn’t know how he’s ever going to face Rey at work after this, but that’s a problem for another day. Specifically, tomorrow. He’ll be able to get through it...somehow.

Maz stands back up with a groan and jabs her finger in the direction of the bathroom door. “When you’re ready, use the back exit. You’re about as subtle as a freight train and I don’t want to lie to this poor girl only for her to see you try to sneak past her.” She smiles sadly at him and then leaves without another word.

It takes awhile for Ben to get up off the floor after she’s gone. He still feels shaky and sick when he does, but he’s able to get out to his car with minimal trouble. It’s only after he’s started the engine and the air conditioning hits his sweat-dampened skin that, to his utter mortification, he begins to cry. _What the hell is wrong with him?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *dodges rotten fruit* I PROMISE these two sweet peas will be happy eventually! You shall be rewarded with sickeningly sweet fluff when it happens :) 
> 
> A few things: 
> 
> 1) I am BLOWN AWAY by the response this fic has gotten so far. Thank you to everyone for the kudos, comments, and subscriptions! Let me know what you thought of this chapter too!  
> 2) I made a playlist for this fic. It's full of cutesy and romantic love songs that I use as inspiration when I write. [Listen to it here](https://open.spotify.com/user/sehigh91/playlist/2cYwtGUC2GJ2cTGyVLs2tz). If you have a song rec you think would fit, please let me know in the comments!  
> 3) I made another aesthetic for this chapter (I have a problem). [Click the link to view!](http://fettuccine-alfreylo.tumblr.com/post/168875065224/say-it-with-sugar-chapter-3-ben-solo-is-the)  
> 4) There are two references in this chapter, one to a British TV show and another to a Regency romance novel. If you can spot either of them you are officially my new best friend :D  
> 4) I am on tumblr as [fettuccine-alfreylo](http://fettuccine-alfreylo.tumblr.com). Come say hi!


	4. Chapter 4

“Rey?”

Rey looks up from her poked-over lasagna. Maz is back and she doesn’t look very happy. “Yes?”

Maz takes the seat across from her. _Ben’s seat_. She folds her hands together and sighs. “Ben had an...emergency, of sorts. He had to leave on short notice.”

“Oh.” Rey can _feel_ herself deflate like a balloon and she hates it. He’s her boss, for God’s sake - he’s a busy man with his own life and he doesn’t owe her anything. Even so, she can’t help but feel disappointed that the dinner is over before it even really started. She also can’t help the negative thoughts from forming. _God, what if he left because of me? What if this emergency is just an excuse he gave Maz to let me off easy?_

“I’m sorry, honey.” Maz reaches across as though to take her hand, then instead fishes around in her pocket for something. She holds up a twenty dollar bill up for Rey to see and passes it across the table to her. “This is from him. He wanted you to take a taxi home.”

Rey has never liked accepting money from other people, and this instance is particularly mortifying because Maz is only the messenger. “Oh, no, that’s okay--”

“Rey.” This time Maz does take her hand and squeezes it gently. “Take the taxi, please. I’ve already ordered one.”

Rey can feel her throat closing up in that horrible way it does when she’s close to tears but she manages to nod and get out an 'okay', which seems to be a good enough answer for Maz.

Maz doesn’t charge her anything for the dinner and sends her on her way with another helping of lasagna and a slice of tiramisu for dessert. Rey keeps it together for the taxi ride home but the minute she’s in the safety of her little house, with Bebe brushing against her legs with his fat fluffy tail to welcome her home, she finally lets herself give in to a good cry.

***

“Ben?” Phasma appears in the doorway to Ben’s office, looking far more chipper than anyone should be at eight in the morning. He eyes her cup of coffee greedily, having already finished his on the drive to work. He’d gotten even less sleep last night than the previous one and he’s running on fumes at this point. Fumes, and the lingering anxiety that kept him awake till the early hours of the morning.

“Yeah?”

“Staff meeting. You ready?”

Ben suppresses a groan. Every Sunday there’s a staff meeting, since all the employees except for him and Phasma have Monday and Tuesday off work. He usually lets Phasma run it, but he needs to be straight with the staff today and let them know the predicament they’re in with sales. He’s hoping they’ll have a few ideas that will help reduce costs and start November’s revenue off strong enough so that he doesn’t have to consider another loan just yet. He’s already made a list himself - that’s the one positive thing that came out of last night’s insomnia, he notes darkly - but he knows his solutions aren’t going to make anyone happy. Moving some of them to part-time, finding cheaper suppliers, and pay cuts. That last option will definitely not be received well, which is precisely why he’s dreading going out there.

That, and because he’ll have to see Rey again after last night.

“Ben?” Phasma tries again, more impatient this time.

“Right. Staff meeting.” He follows her out into the kitchen where Chewie, Finn, and Mitaka have already gathered. Everyone is accounted for, except…

“Where’s Miss Kenobi?” he asks.

Having been locked away in his office sorting the rest of the finances for the past hour, Ben hasn’t been able to see every member of his staff come in. But it’s a quarter past eight already and his newest hire is missing.

Finn and Mitaka exchange a brief look and then Finn speaks up. “We’re not sure, sir. We’ve haven’t been able to get a hold of her.”

“I see.”

“Maybe we should wait a few minutes. She might be running late,” Phasma suggests.

“Maybe.” But his mind has already jumped to the worst-case scenario. Something isn’t right. He knows it. Has she quit? Had she been too disgusted with his flaky behavior last night to bother showing up again? Has he lost this company an exemplary chocolatier because he’s an absolute disaster of a human being? Good God, what has he _done_? He clears his throat, trying to think of how he can possibly explain her absence to the rest of his staff —

And then the doors to the kitchen bang open and a flash of yellow catches his eye.

“Sorry! I’m so sorry!” Rey sprints into the room and stops short of the rest of them, her chest heaving with exertion. “There was a problem with the bus and it stopped running so I had to change to another number and it took me twice as long to get here.” She’s soaked from head to toe, as it hasn’t stopped raining since last night, but her bedraggled appearance has never been a more welcome sight because she’s _here_. She hasn’t quit, and she isn’t disgusted with him - not outwardly, anyway. She just looks a bit embarrassed that everyone is now staring at her. That he can help with.

Ben bangs his fist on the stainless steel countertop and everyone jumps, their undivided attention on him once more. He clears his throat again. “Good morning, everyone. I won’t waste your time so I’m just going to get straight to the point. Sales are the worst they’ve been since I’ve taken over the business. I need all the help I can get to keep us floating to the end of this month and November or I’ll have to institute something shitty to avoid another loan, like paycuts or part-time work. Any ideas?”

His staff just stares back at him in silence. He’d meant to break the news as painlessly as possible, like ripping off a bandaid, but he’d underestimated how shocked they’d be. Even Phasma, who is well-aware of the shop’s financial crisis, has a horrified expression on her face like he’s just revealed Santa isn’t real to a class full of Kindergartners.

There are a few worried looks exchanged between all five of his staff and he’s starting to regret saying anything - but then Rey’s hand shoots up.

“Miss Kenobi?”

She lowers her arm slowly, like she’s not entirely sure why she raised it in the first place. “We could - I mean, this is completely hypothetical, and no one should feel obligated to participate if they don’t want to but - we could throw a Halloween bash?”

Ben blinks. “A what?”

“You know - a Halloween party. We could get the word out around town. Open up the kitchen for the kids, show them how we make chocolate...have treats for everyone, offer our products at a reduced price, maybe even hold a costume contest?”

The idea sounds like something his mom would do if she were still in charge of things. She loved to open up the kitchen to school groups. ‘Any excuse to see sugar-high kids covered in chocolate is a good one’, she used to say. He hasn’t done anything like what Rey is suggesting since he’s taken over the business, and frankly just the _idea_ of children running around this place with all their germs is making his eye twitch...but it’s still a good idea. Where children are, their parents will also follow, which means double the foot traffic that the shop normally has.

While Ben still has reservations about planning something this big and potentially expensive, the rest of the staff are quick to voice their support.

“Yes, Rey, great idea! My girlfriend, Rose - she’s an art teacher at Haysian Elementary. She can put up flyers and let families know,” Finn offers.

“My sister has five kids and is involved in the PTA,” Mitaka adds. “I can tell her about it and she can bring it up at the next meeting.”

Chewie mutters something under his breath in Russian, but Ben can understand him just fine. _Malla directs the children’s choir at our church. She can wrestle up some kids to bring along._

Phasma is last to speak but she’s grinning ear to ear. If Phasma approves, then Ben knows this party is almost certainly going to happen. Once she gets an idea in her head, trying to get her to change her mind feels like pulling teeth.

“I am absolutely horrible when it comes to entertaining children but I _love_ a fancy dress party.”

Well, that settles it then. Ben tries for an upbeat reply and it comes out slightly more positive than he’s used to, if still a bit under-enthused. “Right. A Halloween bash. Any more suggestions?”

Rey’s hand is up again and she’s smiling so wide that, oddly enough, he can feel himself start to smile right back.

“Miss Kenobi?”

“I have three more ideas.”

To say he’s impressed by her willingness to take the initiative would be an understatement. He stares at her, stunned, before he recovers and nods his head. “Okay. Let’s hear it.”

She starts listing off her ideas and he’s lucky Phasma has taken out her notebook to jot all of this down because right now, he wouldn’t be able to take his eyes off Rey even if he wanted to.

***

For the first time since starting therapy, Ben calls Dr. Hux to see if he can possibly move his appointment to an earlier day of the week.

Hux is agreeable over the phone, if a bit surprised, and tells him that he has a time slot available on Monday just after lunch. Ben will have to leave work a bit early for it to work, but he agrees to it anyway.

Hux is already waiting for him when he arrives on Monday afternoon. His entire office is beige and nondescript, but Ben likes it even so. It’s strangely calming to be in a space with absolutely no personal touches aside from diplomas on the wall bearing Hux’s credentials.

“Good to see you, Ben. Take a seat. Do you want anything to drink? Tea? The kettle’s just boiled.”

“Uh - sure. Thank you.”

“Cream? Sugar?”

“Both.” Ben folds himself onto the small couch and watches as Hux makes him a cup of tea, trying to think of what to say before Hux can ask him the dreaded question of ‘what do you want to talk about today?’

“I asked someone out like you suggested. Went on a date.”

Hux stops stirring the tea for a moment, but gives no further indication he’s surprised. “Who did you ask?”

“A girl from work.”

“Your new employee?”

There's a bit of an implication to that question and Ben thinks he knows what it is. He’s well aware that it’s an ethical dilemma to ask a subordinate out on a date but at the time, ethics had been the last thing on his mind. He’d been more concerned about not passing out when he called her into his office.

“Yes. The new hire.”

Hux brings him the tea and then takes the seat across from him in his usual armchair. “What’s her name?”

“Rey. Short for Lorreine. She prefers Rey, though.”

Hux nods. “Pretty name.”

“Yeah.” Ben pauses. He might as well address the elephant in the room so Hux doesn’t have to. “Look, I know ethically it wasn’t...the best decision to ask an employee out. But I did.”

Hux regards him, his angular face a blank slate. After a moment, he gives a small shrug. “There are worse things one can do.”

“Oh. Right.” Ben hadn’t been expecting such an unbiased response but honestly, he’s thankful. He’s been mentally beating himself up enough as it is; having his therapist question his moral code would have made his anxiety that much worse.

Hux takes a sip of his own tea. “So how did you ask her? What was that like?”

Ben thinks back to how terrified he’d been when he called her into his office on Saturday. He’d been shaking so bad he could hardly stand up straight, yet he’d managed to get the words out somehow. “She thought I’d called her into my office to fire her. So that was...unexpected. I couldn’t think of what else to say after I told her she didn’t have to worry about losing her job. Then she asked me if there was something she could help me with, so I just...came out with it.”

“Did she agree right away?”

“Yeah, actually. I mean, I think she was confused at first, but then she asked if the place I suggested for dinner had any wine, so I told her yes, and then she said okay.”

“And how did that make you feel? When she said yes?”

Ben doesn’t mull over his response this time. He already knows the answer. “Fucking amazing.”

Hux smiles and reaches to set his cup down on his desk, picking up his notebook instead to write something down. “And so the date? How did that go?”

Ben can feel his heart sink just thinking about it. “Not good.”

“What happened?”

"I blew it. She was so introspective and thoughtful in her answers to me and there I was, struggling to even tell her my favorite color when she asked. I clammed up, and left to go change my shirt, then when I came back I did the same damn thing all over again. I even used that app you told me about, but it didn’t work. This woman - she’s a literal ray of sunshine. She’s exactly what you’d imagine someone with the name Rey would look like. And I feel like I can’t even _breathe_ when she’s around. It’s not normal. I’m not normal.”

“Sounds like you were very nervous.”

“More than nervous. Petrified. I think I even had an anxiety attack in the bathroom.”

“About?”

“Her.”

“What about her?”

“Everything.”

Hux looks down at his notepad. “In our past sessions you’ve mentioned a fear of failure. Were you feeling that way with her?”

Ben can feel himself growing angry, but mostly at himself. “I mean, yeah. You said it yourself last session, didn’t you? I have a problem with women. I’m terrified of them. That’s why I was a nervous wreck around her.”

“And what terrified you, specifically? About Rey?”

Ben pushes himself from his seat and starts pacing. “I’ve never been comfortable opening up to people. Our therapeutic relationship, or whatever you call it? It’s the most I’ve ever told anyone about my problems, _ever_. And I hate every second of it. No offense.”

Hux shrugs. “None taken.”

“I just...I can’t do the ‘opening up’ thing. Intimacy. In any form. Especially around women. There's the self revelation for today's session. Can I go now?”

“It's up to you. Do you feel ready to go?”

He doesn't. He really doesn’t. He’s just barely started to explain the problem to Hux and he _needs_ to get this out if he has any hope of repairing the damage he did on the date. Rey might’ve _seemed_ like it was all water under the bridge with her sunny smiles at the staff meeting, but he still owes her an explanation at some point. And for him to do that, he has to stay and sort through his feelings.

Ben sighs and sits back down in his seat across from Hux, running his hand through his hair. “My dad was the same way. About letting people in. He just hid it better. He talks a big talk but the only woman he’s ever been with is my mom.” 

Hux is back to scribbling something down in his notebook. "How long have they been together now?”

“Thirty-four years.”

“Hm. And you don't think your dad had the same misgivings about your mum back then as you do now about Rey?”

“I’m sure he did. But my mom’s a fucking force to be reckoned with. She made _sure_ he opened up to her. She wouldn’t accept anything less from him.”

“Do you think Rey is different in that regard?”

“Well, I...I don’t know. I don’t know if she is or not. I haven’t gotten to know her well enough to figure that out.”

“Would you like to? Get to know her better?”

Yes. Yes he would. He’s normally so withdrawn from everything - coworkers, even family - but there’s something about her that keeps drawing him in. He wants to know every little thing there is to know about her, beyond her favorite color being yellow or her owning a cat named Bebe. So Ben tells the truth.

“Yes. I’d like that.”

“What can you do to make that happen?”

Ben scoffs. How can he even begin to make it up to her? Apologize? Explain the situation? “I’d have to talk to her again.”

“Are you prepared to do that?”

“Maybe. I’m not sure.”

“Are you unsure because you don’t know what she’ll say in response?”

“Yes and no. I think - if it had been any other girl, she wouldn’t have wanted anything to do with me after that. But she came back to work the next day. Even spoke with me directly at the staff meeting.”

“And what do you think that says about her?”

“She’s nice?”

“Yes. What else? What do you think her behavior signifies in relation to you?”

“I don’t know.”

Hux cocks his head to the side. “I think you do, Ben.”

Ben doesn’t want to say it out loud. If he does, it’ll be as good as true, which will only feed into the fear he has of intimacy.

Hux is an intuitive bastard and picks up on this immediately, leaning forward in his seat until Ben has no choice but to make eye contact with him. “I’ll tell you what that says about her, Ben. She _likes_ you. Probably the same way you like her. Do you think she would have gone to dinner with you in the first place if she wasn’t interested?”

No, he doesn’t. His anxiety may lie to him about this part, tell him that she was just going along with it to be nice, to make him happy, but the signs were all there. A cute dress. Smiles. Asking him questions. Waiting for _ages_ while he acted like a fucking idiot in the bathroom. Would someone who wasn’t at least a _tiny_ bit interest in him have done all that?

“Tell you what, Ben,” Hux says, when it’s apparent Ben isn’t going to readily accept what was just said out loud. “I’m going to give you some more homework for this week. How does that sound?”

 _Oh no_. Here it goes again. The homework mess that had gotten him into this situation in the first place. But he can’t just say no, can he? After everything he’s told Hux so far? After going through with asking someone out, no matter how disastrous the outcome had been? That feels like giving up, somehow. Like failure. And he doesn’t want to live that way anymore - constantly in fear of ‘what ifs’ that he never actually takes a chance on.

“Okay.”

Hux leans back in his seat, seemingly satisfied. “I'll give you two tasks this time. Task one, talk to Rey. About anything. Doesn’t have to be about the date.”

Ben nods. He can do that much...he _thinks_. “Right.”

“Task two, initiate touch with someone.”

Now _that_ he has a problem with. “I’m sorry, _what_?”

“It doesn’t have to be anything major. A handshake, a pat on the back. Maybe a hug, if it’s your family. What matters is that you do it.”

“Why touching?”

Hux just smiles. “You have a problem with opening up? With intimacy? Intimate actions are your first step, then. You don’t have to bear your soul to anyone - sometimes a simple touch is all it takes to let the people you care about know that you do.”

Ben opens and closes his mouth, his mind blank of any possible objections. _Dammit_ . Why does Hux always have to be so _right_ all of the time?

***

Rey’s third day on the job has been considerably more pleasant than her first two. Saturday had been...Saturday, and Sunday hadn’t started off the best either, what with her arriving late and dreading a conversation with Ben Solo about their dinner the night before. Yet she hasn’t seen him much since the staff meeting on Sunday and when she _has_ seen him, he’s either busy talking to Phas or observing Finn and Mitaka’s work. Never hers, though she prefers it this way. Finn and Mitaka don’t seem to share the same sentiment, though.

“He’s been weirdly attentive. Like, all day. Weirder than usual,” Finn mumbles to them as he painstakingly drizzles melted caramel over the last batch of milk chocolate for the day. “I don’t know what the hell happened between Sunday and now but it’s like he’s trying to be...nice, or something. He shook hands with me and then asked me how my day was going. I didn’t know what to say.”

“I’ve noticed it, too,” Mitaka says. “He came up to me earlier and patted me on the back and said good job. I thought I was hallucinating at first but...no. It was definitely a pat. He’s never done that to me ever.”

Finn shudders. “It’s creepy. I wonder why he’s doing it. He mentioned the possibility of pay cuts during that staff meeting. Maybe that’s still gonna happen? Maybe he feels bad and he’s trying to soften the blow?”

“Or maybe he’s finally pulled that colossal stick out of his ass,” Mitaka grins, then immediately pales, glancing over his shoulder to check that they’re all by themselves even though Ben is still in his office and Phas is helping Chewie stock the front. “Sorry, maybe that was a bit harsh. Still, it’d be cool to come into work one day and not have to worry about your boss giving you the stink eye.”

Finn scoffs. “Yeah right. That’s never gonna happen.”

Rey doesn’t really know what to make of this herself. On one hand, she does agree it’s odd that Mr. Solo is acting so strange compared to what Finn and Mitaka are used to but then again...he’d been nice to her for what little time they’d interacted at dinner. Maz has said he’d been fretting over the menu before she arrived. He’d pulled out her chair for her to sit down. He’d listened to her intently as she talked, leaning forward in his seat as though to prevent himself from missing a word she said. And then he’d told her about his family, smiling as he explained why his grandfather had built this little shop in the first place. Those actions don’t strike her as even remotely unkind.

The remarks that Finn and Mitaka are saying about him, however, _are_ unkind and making her uncomfortable. And a bit sad, for reasons she can’t really examine in detail right now. Maybe on the bus ride home. Signaling she’s done for the day, Rey heads towards the break room to change out of her uniform. She passes Ben’s office on the way. The blinds aren’t drawn and she can see him in there, hunkered over his desk wearing those glasses of his. He lifts his head up and Rey scurries past his line of sight as fast as she can.

***

Rey’s almost to the bus stop when she hears someone running down the street after her, accompanied by a booming voice.

“Rey! Miss Kenobi!”

Somehow, she knows who it is before she even turns around to look. Ben Solo. He stops just in front of her, his hands on his hips as he catches his breath. He has the sleeves of his work shirt rolled up to his elbows. Why that’s so attractive to her, she has no idea.

Going for friendly but coming out overeager, she gives an small wave and smiles at him. “Yes. That’s me!” She inwardly cringes at herself the second the words leave her mouth but there’s nothing she can do to recover what little cool she has. So instead she just stands as awkwardly as always, waiting for him to speak.

He gestures between them with his hand. “About the other night...”

 _Oh no_. Here it comes. The talk that she’s been dreading. The talk about that dinner. “Yes?”

“I’m sorry. I had to leave suddenly. I have a chronic...condition.”

Rey nods understandingly. Maybe it _was_ a case of irritable bowel syndrome, like Maz had said. Maybe he doesn’t think she’s a complete idiot and oversharer like she’d originally thought. “Right. It’s okay. Maz gave me some tiramisu to take home along with a full helping of lasagna so I had a whole extra meal to enjoy that night.” And she _had_ enjoyed it, in a way, if one can count ‘crying on the kitchen counter while eating your confused feelings away’ as enjoying it.

Ben steps just a foot closer. “No, it wasn’t okay. Leaving you there--”

She really needs a hole to open up on the sidewalk right about now and swallow her whole because she can’t deal with this. Can’t deal with _him_ , looking at her with his brown eyes and that full mouth of his drawn into a frown. “It’s nothing! Honestly. Thank you for talking to me about it but it’s no big deal.”

He nods his head once. “Alright.”

“Okay.”

But he doesn’t make any move to leave. Instead he’s just staring down at something. Something on her? She glances down too, inspecting to see if her hands are clean, then looks back up at him.

Suddenly he reaches out and grasps her hand in his and shakes it. Twice.

“Thank you. For being so understanding.”

“Oh! You’re welcome.”

“I’m doing this new thing where I initiate touch to say I’m thankful. Hence this handshake.”

Well, that’s his odd behavior towards Finn and Mitaka explained. “Cool,” Rey says, hating how lame she sounds.

He hasn’t let go of her hand yet, and she hasn’t let go of his either. They’re both completely still, just staring into each other’s eyes now. Rey’s heart feels like a battering ram against her chest. _What is happening_?

Ben leans in closer, his shoulders slumping to accommodate their difference in height. Rey follows his lead, too scared, too terrified to even breathe in case doing so ruins whatever _this_ is.

“Rey--” He starts.

Before Rey can even fully process what she’s doing, she uses her other hand that isn’t clasped in his to grab him by the front of his shirt, pulling him flush against her until their lips touch.

It’s over in a second and when it is, Rey’s left with the horrifying realization that she’s just _kissed her boss_.

But then his lips brush against hers again. They’re soft, and warm, and feel just as plush against her mouth as she thought they would. Rey relaxes her grip on his shirt, her hand traveling upwards to the curls at the nape of his neck.

Ben _moans_ against her mouth and just like that, they’re pulling apart from each other like they’ve been burned. He’s breathing heavily through his nose and she is too, her chest heaving from the shock coursing through her system.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

Rey blinks up at him, feeling more than a bit dazed. _Sorry_? “For what?”

“That kiss.”

“Really? I liked it.” She claps her hand over her mouth. She hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

Ben’s eyes go as wide as saucers. She’s definitely startled him, that’s for sure. “But...I’m your boss, and you’re my employee, and...really, I don’t want to be taking advantage of you. Even the date - that was - well, it’s a good thing our HR department consists solely of Phasma. A boss asking his employee out is frowned upon.”

There’s only one part of that drawn out explanation that she’s concerned with. “So it _was_ a date?”

He opens and closes his mouth a few times before managing a nod. “I - yes. I suppose it was. It ended prematurely on my part and again, I apologize for that.” He pauses, then asks. “Why? Did you think it was something else?”

Rey can feel herself blush. “A business dinner, maybe?”

“Business dinner?”

“Well now I know it wasn’t but at the time - yes. The idea crossed my mind.”

He shakes his head once, as though to clear his thoughts. “Yes, well, that’s neither here nor there. It was unprofessional of me to ask you out like that. It won’t happen again.”

“Oh.” She’s disappointed, though she knows he has a point. She’s not sure what she expected, anyways. Certainly not for them to go on another date. Of course not.

Ben clears his throat. “I think it’s best if we go back to normal. If the other employees found out it wouldn’t be good for...team spirit. Morale.”

Rey nods. “Right. Team spirit.”

They’re inches apart again. So close that she can smell him. He smells like peppermint. She’s not sure _when_ they started unknowingly drawing close to each other again, but it’s happened, and now she’s back to not breathing. He doesn’t look like he is, either.

“Maybe we could...one more time. Then go back to normal?” His voice is soft, and deep, and it’s  _doing things_ to her.

So she throws caution to the wind and kisses him again. This time, he immediately kisses her back. The pecks quickly turn to lingering kisses, then they open their mouths and _oh_ , that deepens their connection in such a satisfying way.

Rey’s standing on tiptoe to meet his mouth and he’s leaning down to meet hers but apparently that’s not enough for him because he suddenly _picks her up_ with one arm like she weighs absolutely nothing, cradling the small part of her back. Rey wraps both her arms around his neck, desperate to hold onto some part of him.

He breaks his mouth apart from hers eventually, his breathing ragged. “Okay, maybe more than once. Maybe we could do this...from time to time.”

Rey nods frantically. “Yes. Okay.”

“Maybe all the time.”

“What about team spirit?”

“Fuck team spirit.” He’s back to kissing her again and oh, that word he said shouldn’t have such a profoundly strong effect on her but it _does_ . She can feel it all the way down to her toes. She moves to wrap her legs around him, but then someone shouts ‘get a room!’ from somewhere close by, and reality immediately comes crashing back down to meet her. _She’s making out with her boss. Again. In the middle of a public street._

Rey pulls herself away from him and steadies her wobbly legs, smoothing down the front of her sweater.

Ben mimics what she’s doing, fussing with the front of his shirt. “Well. This was…”

“Yeah.”

“Good. Amazing.”

Rey bites her lip hard to keep from grinning. “Okay, well. I better go.”

Ben frowns at her. “Where are you going?”

She points behind her to the bus stop. “Home.” 

“Oh! Right! Okay.” He nods, then steps back, re-establishing some proper distance between them. He doesn’t look any more composed than she does. His hair is a mess, his eyes are wild, and his ears are bright red. He swallows, then gives a little shrug, like he doesn’t know what else to do with his arms. “Have a nice night.”

“You too. Goodnight.”

She watches him turn abruptly on his heel and leave. It’s only when he’s safely out of sight that Rey starts jumping up and down like a fool, finally giving into the giddy laughter that’s been steadily bubbling up inside of her ever since he called their kiss ‘amazing’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is the longest one yet I think, ahhh! The plot takes on a mind of its own and I can't help it.
> 
> Big thanks to my friend [darkknightdarkside](http://darkknightdarkside.tumblr.com) on tumblr for taking a look at the therapy part for me :) Go follow her, she's the sweetest!
> 
> [Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/sehigh91/playlist/2cYwtGUC2GJ2cTGyVLs2tz).
> 
> [Aesthetic for this chapter.](http://fettuccine-alfreylo.tumblr.com/post/169159161109/say-it-with-sugar-chapter-4-ben-solo-is-the)
> 
> Lastly, thank you sooo much for your continued support. I can't tell you how much it brightens my day to read your comments and interact with you guys. I hope you have a Happy New Year <3


	5. Chapter 5

Ben sits in his car outside the quaint bungalow from his childhood, still reeling from the kissing...the wonderful, wonderful kissing that he’s having a hard time accepting as something that just happened to him of all people. Why he drove to his parents’ house straight after, he has no idea, but now that he’s here he finds that he actually _wants_ to go inside and tell them...what? That he’s met the girl of his dreams even though he’s only shared a handful of awkward conversations with her? That he wants to bring her here and introduce her to them?

Ben groans. He’s already sounding like a besotted idiot. It was only a kiss. Or two. Or three. He’d lost track somewhere in between her throwing her arms around him. But Rey had been his first kiss _ever_ , and just the memory her lips against his, and how perfectly _right_ she’d felt in his arms, makes him happy in a way he hasn’t been in months...years, even. Not only happy, but less withdrawn, and actually willing to surround himself with people instead of shutting himself away after each workday like he normally does.

So Ben takes a deep breath, leaves his car, and walks up the familiar and well-worn pathway to the front door. The moment he rings the doorbell he hears Artoo’s frenzied barking from inside, followed by dog nails clacking against the hardwood floor and his mom’s half hearted attempts to shush the pudgy old pug.

“Artoo, be quiet! No, back up, back up!”

The door opens and Artoo goes absolutely haywire, jumping as high as his fat little body can reach to receive pets which Ben obligingly gives him.

“Ben! Hi sweetheart! Are you okay?” His mom looks glad to see him too but also worried for whatever reason. She motions for him to come inside and shuts the door behind them once he does. Her arms move as though to hug him but she lowers them again. Old habits die hard, he supposes. He can still remember the hugs she gave him when he was little - how she used to sweep him up into her arms, covering his face with kisses.

Then he’d grown into a distant teenager who avoided affection like the plague and things had changed for the worse, he thinks. But he’s already initiated touch with three people today, in different ways, and Hux had said that hugs definitely counted. With that in mind Ben hesitantly pulls his mom close, wrapping his arms around her shoulders like he hasn’t done in years.

“Ben?” she questions, her words muffled against his chest.

“Hi, Mom.”

She looks up and he can see there are tears in her eyes. Oh. He hadn’t meant for that to happen. This is the second time in a week he’s unintentionally made her cry. He moves to untangle himself but she holds onto him tighter, refusing to let go.

“Are you okay?” he asks, at a loss of what else to do. He’s never been good with comforting others.

“I’m fine, honey. This is just...unexpected. Your visit and your hug. But very, very welcome.” She sniffles and pats his chest. “Are _you_ okay?”

“Yeah, I’m fine.”

“We were worried. Maz said—”

 _The anxiety attack_. Ben inwardly groans. He tries to pull himself from the hug again and this time she lets him go, if a bit reluctantly.

“Maz told you?”

“Of course she told me. What _happened_?”

“It’s fine. Really. That’s why I came here today. To tell you...things. Where’s Dad?”

“Outside raking leaves. Do you want to stay for dinner?”

She asks it casually as she brushes past him into the kitchen, Artoo following on her heels for a chance to get a scrap of whatever she’s cooking. But Ben can detect the hopefulness in her voice that he’ll say yes this time instead of coming up with an excuse why he can’t.

“Sure.”

She glances up at him, her eyes watery once more. Desperate for her not to make a bigger deal out of this, he wanders off into the attached living room. Threepio is at his usual spot on the couch, his entire body trembling in the way that chihuahuas tend to. Ben sits down beside him and scratches his ears.

“Hey buddy.”

Threepio calms down for exactly three seconds to lean into his touch, then goes back to trembling when Ben picks up a photo album on the coffee table. He’s halfway expecting it to be one of the many albums filled with embarrassing baby pictures of himself - his mom loves those - but instead it’s one he doesn’t think he’s ever seen before. But he recognizes the people in the pictures when he opens it, anyway.

“Grandma and grandpa?”

His mom stops bustling around in the kitchen and comes to join him, leaning over the back of the couch to see what’s caught his interest. “Hm? Oh, yeah! Luke brought that by earlier. He’s been cleaning out his place for a garage sale and found it somewhere. Your Dad and I were flipping through it this morning. Cute couple, weren’t they?”

Most of the photos are in black and white, from the 50’s he’s guessing. The first one is a shot from his grandparents’ wedding, but not the staged one that his mom has on display on the mantelpiece. His grandma Padmé is laughing, her head thrown back as his grandpa nuzzles her cheek. In another photo, a heavily pregnant Padmé is standing outside _Say It With Sugar_ , proudly grinning from ear to ear as she points up at the ‘Open for Business’ sign.

Ben flips through the album quietly, enjoying the small glimpses into the life of the loving couple he never got to meet. As much as he’s tried to convince himself that he’s okay with being alone, he wants this for himself. Wants what his grandparents had and what his parents have now. He’s not so terrified to admit it anymore, after Hux has slowly but surely helped coaxed the truth out of him. And now that he’s actually met someone, _kissed_ someone...the dream of this same kind of love happening to him doesn’t seem as far fetched anymore.

“I kissed the girl. From my date the other night,” he tells his mom, still studiously flipping through the photos to keep the smile from his face.

“What? _Ben_!” His mom hurries around to the front of the couch and makes a space for herself beside him and Threepio, taking Ben’s hands in her smaller ones. “Tell me!”

He can’t contain his smile anymore, not when she’s so excited. His mom looks like he’s just told her Christmas has come early and she _loves_ Christmas. “Well, the date was disastrous. Maz told you that much, I’m guessing. So today I got her alone for a moment to apologize and...one thing led to another.”

Leia grins, playfully bumping her shoulder against his. “Kissing is nice, isn’t it?”

Ben can’t help but cringe. “Mom, please…”

“You’re gonna have to get used to me embarrassing you about this, Benjamin. Especially if you bring her around which I’m _hoping_ you do.”

“You haven’t called me Benjamin since I was a kid.”

“You’re right. I only use it sparingly to get my point across - which is that I would _very_ much like to meet this Rey. Maz said she was cute as a button.”

Ben can’t argue that. “Yeah, she is.”

“Where’s she from? What’s her story?”

“I don’t know much yet. She’s from England. Grew up there with her grandpa and moved here after he died.”

Leia nods. “Well, I’ll find out more about her when I see her...which will be when?”

“Mom…” he sighs.

“I’m serious!”

“There’s a Halloween party at the shop this Friday. Her idea, actually. She’ll be there.”

“Then that settles it. I’ll invite myself. It’s been awhile since I’ve visited you at work, anyway.” She pats his knee and stands up, taking Threepio with her. “I’m gonna go tell your dad you’re here and that dinner’s almost ready.”

“Alright.”

“Oh! Before I forget!” She leans back down and flips the page of the photo album, pointing to another polaroid. It’s one of his grandfather with a man a few years his senior, photographed in the kitchen of the shop, both of them wearing traditional chef’s coats. “We figured out who that is. I didn’t recognize him at first - he’s younger in that photo than the handful of times I ever met him when I was little, but…”

Somehow, Ben already knows. “Grandpa’s teacher?”

“Yep! Old Ben. Dad used to swear he was the most brilliant chocolatier in Europe at one point in time. I wonder whatever became of him. Doesn’t look so old there, does he?”

Ben looks closely at the picture she’s pointing to. No, he doesn’t look old. He does, however, look vaguely familiar. He has kind eyes and a wide smile that takes over his entire face. Similar to Rey’s, now that he thinks of it. Would she enjoy looking over this, after what he’d told her of his family? She’d seemed interested in talking about it, before he’d gone and ruined the dinner. Maybe this could be another way to open up to her?

“Can I take this with me? The album?”

“Sure. It’s gonna be yours someday, anyway. So will this house and everything in it, with its _two_ spare bedrooms. Perfect for a family.”

“You’re not being subtle at all anymore.”

“Oh hush.” Leia waves off his complaints as she goes to the back door leading to the porch. “If you think _I’m_ over the top, wait till your dad hears about this.”

***

Surprisingly, Rey has been able to successfully pull things together for the party in only a matter of days. It hasn’t been easy, what with the limited budget and her staunch refusal to neglect her regular work duties in favor of party planning, but she’s managed it somehow.

In a way, being so busy has been a blessing. She’s had less time to stare at Ben’s broad back or his ridiculously perfect hair as he goes about his business each day. Granted, she’s still had _some_ time to devote to staring at him, but not nearly enough to get her into trouble. And she’s positive she _will_ get into trouble if anyone finds out she now has a more complicated relationship with her boss than that of just a mere employee. The kiss - _kisses_ , she reminds herself - sealed her fate where that’s concerned.

But she doesn’t regret what she did and she doesn’t think he does, either. They haven’t been alone since that day but there have been several shared and meaningful glances between them, most of which usually result in his ears turning red or Rey tripping over her feet. Plus, she’s fairly confident that the next time they’re alone - and there _will_ be a next time, he’d even admitted to wanting it himself - there will be _more_ kisses. Rey’s stomach flips at the thought of him locking lips with her again, and holding her close in those big arms of his…

“Rey?”

Finn’s voice brings her back from the distracted and dangerous direction her thoughts had been headed. He’s currently fumbling his way through the fake spiderwebs that Rey’s spent the last hour painstakingly decorating the front of the shop with.

“Careful, Finn!”

He finds his footing again and goes behind the register to help Mitaka and Chewie. Both of them are lading the green punch of “Witch’s Brew” into cups as fast as they can.

“Rose just texted me. She’s on the way with Poe. She says most of her students are coming with their parents once they get home from school,” Finn explains.

Rey nods. It’s past four already, which means all school-aged kids are out for the weekend. While she isn’t certain of the extent to which the notice of a party at _Say It With Sugar_ spread around town, she’s prepared for a modest crowd of children nonetheless. The counters of the shop are covered with Halloween-themed treats like white-chocolate covered strawberry ghosts and severed “finger” cookies. It’s over the top, even for her, but this entire party idea is her brainchild and she’s determined to turn a profit from it.

Finished measuring out servings of punch, Finn leans against the counter and smiles. “I gotta say, Rey, this looks good for a last minute thing. Like, Pinterest Soccer Mom good.”

Rey grins. “Working at a bakery definitely had its uses, even though it wasn’t what I wanted to do.” She places one more fake spider ring into her spider web creation and steps back to admire her handiwork.

Phas comes running into the front of the shop moments later dressed in a silver flapper costume, complete with dark red lips and a feathered headpiece. She visibly deflates when she sees that no one else has gone all out like she has. “Did you lot not get my email that I sent out yesterday? It said to bring a costume to change into so we can all be dressed up like the kids!”

“We did get it. We just chose to ignore it,” Finn deadpans.

“I wore a sweater?” Rey offers. She glances down at the hideous orange monstrosity she’s wearing. “Look, the ghost is even saying ‘boo’.”

Phas sighs. “Okay fine, that’s adorable. You’re off the hook. But the _rest_ of you!” She turns to glare at Finn, Mitaka and Chewie, who all look like they couldn’t care less. “I knew I should have come up with a mandatory themed costume for everyone! That way none of you slackers would have been able to say no. Think of how cute we would have looked as characters from The Wizard of Oz or something!”

“Chewie’s definitely hairy enough to be the cowardly lion,” Finn mumbles, which earns him a swat on the head from Chewie himself.

Rey stands back and smiles as they jokingly bicker amongst themselves. She’s only been working here for a week so far but she already feels more comfortable around everyone...well, _almost_ everyone. There’s definitely a certain someone she still feels nervous around, even after the kiss. _Especially_ after the kiss, and he’s due back any minute now from leaving to pick up his parents for the party.

The bell above the shop door rings and Rey’s breath catches as she turns to see if it’s him. But it’s a young couple, the man in crutches and the woman supporting his back as they enter the shop.

“Babes!” Finn hollers, once again almost breaking his neck trying to hastily navigate his way around the spiderwebbed countertops of the shop. To Rey’s surprise, Finn kisses both the woman and the man on the mouth before turning around to introduce them to her. “Rey, this is Rose and Poe.”

“Hi!” Rey extends her hands to shake theirs. Instead, Rose pulls her into a tight hug.

“Oh, I feel like I know you already! Finn has been _so_ much less stressed lately thanks to you. This beautiful dumbass,” she nods her head in Poe’s direction, “Broke his leg in a biking accident a month ago, so ever since then Finn’s had his work cut out for him here.”

“Rose, honey, let her breathe,” Poe says good-naturedly, dragging Rose off of her before extending his own hand for Rey to shake. “Hey, I’m Poe. I work here, too. I’m just out on medical leave for awhile.”

Rey nods, glancing between all three of them. “So, you’re...all together?”

Rose smiles and throws her arms around Finn and Poe. “Yep! They’re boyfriends. But they’re also _my_ boyfriends. It’s called a throuple.”

“Oh! That’s very...modern!”

Poe laughs. “It’s confusing at first. And I know what you’re thinking so I’ll save you the trouble of asking.” He leans in closer and whispers, “Yes, the sex is just as wild as you’d expect. Like, really wild. I’m surprised my leg has healed as fast as it has, considering what we get up to. Never a dull night with these guys.”

Rose, Poe, Phas, and Mitaka all dissolve into giggles. Chewie looks entirely disinterested and unimpressed with the conversation, while Finn is blushing more than Rey has ever seen him do before.

“O-kay! That’s my cue to drag you two oversharers away before you offend anyone. Come on, I could still use some help setting up in the back before the kids come.” Finn leads them off down the hall to the kitchen, all the while pointedly ignoring Phas and Mitaka’s continued smothered laughter.

When he’s safely out of earshot, Rey winces. “I didn’t realize they were all together! I mean, I’ve heard Finn mention Rose before and also Poe...but from the way Finn talked about him I figured they were really good friends or something. I feel bad for asking.”

Phas shrugs. “Don’t feel bad. It took me awhile to figure it out, too, and I’m technically their boss!”

“Finn is private about it but he loves them,” Mitaka explains. “You should have seen the Christmas card they sent out last year. Sickeningly sweet. They wore matching _sweaters_.”

“And yet he can’t be bothered to dress up for Halloween at work! What an ass,” Phas grumbles fondly.

“They sound really sweet,” Rey smiles.

Phas sighs. “Very sweet, yeah. They’ll all make great parents when they start trying. I do think it’s funny though how much of a prude Finn still pretends to be despite the massive amount of sex he’s regularly getting. Must be nice.”

“Yeah, he’s pretty much living the dream, sex-wise,” Mitaka agrees.

This time it’s Rey’s turn to blush. She’s never been in a relationship before, let alone two at the same time, and all this talk is making her painfully aware of just how nonexistent her personal life is compared to everyone else’s.

The embarrassment is short-lived, though, because the first group of kids arrive only moments later with their parents in tow. Rey and Phas go into customer service overdrive as they greet each guest, compliment everyone’s costumes, and shepherd them to the back where Finn is waiting to begin the presentation.

And then more kids show up.

And even more after that.

Soon enough, the small front of the shop is practically overrun with children in Halloween costumes, all of them hyper and screaming for chocolate. Phas looks frazzled and out of her depth as she tries to corral them into groups, Mitaka is just standing around helplessly like he’s never even seen a child in his entire life, and Chewie...well, Chewie actually looks like he knows what he’s doing, getting the kids into an orderly line by threatening ‘no line? no chocolate’ in his heavy Russian accent.

Amidst all the craziness and yelling, Phas throws her arms around Rey and squeezes her tight. “Oh my god, this is madness, Rey! Wait till Ben sees how many people have shown up. He’s gonna _freak_!”

The realization hits that this is quite possibly Ben’s worst nightmare. The front of the shop is crowded with parents wanting to browse chocolate, kids continue to file inside in droves, and the parking spaces out front look like they’re all full.

Phas is right. He’s either going to freak or he’ll take one look at this crowd and turn around to leave - which isn’t going to go over well at all, considering she’s overheard multiple children say they’re dying to meet the ‘Mr. Chocolate Man’ who has invited them all here to his magical chocolate shop. Rey stifles a hysterical sort of giggle as she pictures a massive, hulking Ben Solo leaning down to interact with all these tiny humans who seem to think he’s a mixture between Willy Wonka and Santa.

This is _definitely_ going to be interesting, that’s for sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was originally going to be longer (6k+ words) but I've decided to split it up into two chapters. So there will definitely be Reylo interactions next chapter, don't worry :D 
> 
> Thank you all for every hit, kudo, comment, bookmark, and subscription. It means the world that you're enjoying reading this as much as I'm enjoying writing it. Let me know what you thought of this chapter, too! 
> 
> I am [fettuccine-alfreylo](http://fettuccine-alfreylo.tumblr.com) on tumblr. Come say hi! 
> 
> [Aesthetic for this chapter](http://fettuccine-alfreylo.tumblr.com/post/169710160339/say-it-with-sugar-chapter-5-ben-solo-is-the). 
> 
> [Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/sehigh91/playlist/2cYwtGUC2GJ2cTGyVLs2tz).


	6. Chapter 6

Between picking up his parents (who are never, _ever_ ready when they say they’ll be) and getting stuck in traffic on the way back to the shop, Ben is nearly an hour late to the Halloween party. He doubts there will be a large enough turnout to notice his absence but he’s still the owner, and owners are generally on time to work related functions likes this.

He turns the corner and the shop finally comes into view. _Holy hell_. Okay, so he’d been wrong about the turnout thing. Really, really wrong. The parallel parking spaces on both sides of the usually quiet street are all filled up. There’s even a _line_ outside the shop.

“What the fuck?” his dad swears loudly from the back seat.

“Han!” His mom jerks around in her seat. Through his rearview mirror Ben sees his dad swerve out of reach just before she’s able to smack him upside the head.

“Leia, would you stop being so straightlaced for a moment and look out your window? There’s no parking! When’s the last time it’s even been like this?!”

Ben sighs and grudgingly listens to his parents prattle on as he drives up and down the street trying to find a place to park. After five minutes he loses his patience and pulls right onto the curb of the closed-for-business flower shop a few spaces down from _Say It With Sugar_. It’s not entirely legal and his mom tells him as much but Ben ignores her and puts the car in park anyway.

“He gets this bullheadedness from you, you know,” Leia mumbles, unbuckling her seatbelt.

His dad scoffs from the backseat. “You sure about that?”

Ben leaves them both to get out of the car at their own snail’s pace and charges ahead to the shop, bypassing the line of people out front. He’s met by even _more_ people when he walks in the front door. This is by far the biggest number of customers he’s ever seen squeezed into the shop at once. He stands at the entryway momentarily stunned, wondering if there’s some sort of maximum occupancy policy they’re violating, until he hears the bell above the shop ring again, signaling that his parents have finally caught up.

His dad stops short when he walks in, his mouth agape as he takes in the crowd. “What the _fuck_?”

“Han!” his mom yells again.

“Ben! There you are!” He hears Phasma’s voice above the noisy chatter and locates her quickly by her blonde bob and the feathered headpiece she’s wearing as some sort of 1920’s getup. It’s bent at an awkward angle and she looks more than a bit frazzled as she pushes her way through all the customers to get to him.

His mom and dad pull Phas into a hug as soon as she’s within grabbing distance and she only quickly returns it before detangling herself, which is the first tip-off that she’s far more stressed than she’s letting on. Then she spears him with a glare over his mom’s head. _Shit_. That’s the second tip-off.

“Everything okay?” he asks.

“The children are waiting, Ben!”

Ben’s mind blanks. “For what?”

“You! Now _come on_!” Phasma grabs his arm and wastes no time in pulling him back to where she’s come from. Ben waves helplessly at Chewie as he passes him and Chewie waves back without looking up from the register, somehow managing to box up an order and ring up a separate transaction at the same time.

Once they’re past the front end of the shop and in the cool, dark hallway leading to the kitchen, Ben relaxes somewhat. But then he hears high pitched _squealing_ and his nerves return in full force.

“Why do they need to see me?” Ben asks.

“Hear that noise? Because of _that_ ,” Phas huffs. “Finn got them all riled up during the chocolate making presentation because he _gave them chocolate_ instead of waiting until we pass out goodie bags later. They’re practically bouncing off the walls now. Rey and Rose are trying desperately to keep them controlled, Mitaka is completely useless, and I told Poe to keep out of the way unless he wants another broken limb.”

“What am I supposed to do, though?” Ben stops, dragging his heels in when Phasma continues to pull his arm. “Phas - I can’t - I don't know how—”

He’s never been good with kids. He’s never really had the chance to interact with kids, to tell the truth. He’s an only child and Luke never married so there’s never been any cousins, nieces, or nephews in the picture. Just him. And now Phas expects him to go in there and get an unruly group of children under control?

Realizing she’s fighting a losing battle trying to get him to budge, Phas throws her arms up in defeat. “You’re the Chocolate Man, Ben!”

Ben blinks. “What?”

“You’re the Chocolate Man. Someone put the silly idea in all their heads that you’re the second coming of Willy Wonka or Milton Hershey or someone equally magical who’s going to waltz in there and dazzle them!”

The idea is so utterly ridiculous that Ben starts to laugh but he immediately shuts up when he sees the murderous look on Phasma’s face.

“I’m serious, Ben! This is a crisis!”

“I’m sorry. It’s just - Willy Wonka?”

“Yes, Willy Fucking Wonka. Think you can manage to act a bit more jovial than usual so we won’t have a room full of screaming, crying, disappointed children on our hands?”

He doesn’t want to do this. He _really_ doesn’t want to do this. He can already feel his skin turning clammy, which is a sign that he’s passed his normal level of social discomfort and is now hurtling towards the ‘Oh Fuck’ zone of anxiety. But he doesn’t really have a choice, does he? Everyone has bent over backwards for this party - _especially_ Rey. The elaborate decorations up front, along with the sheer amount of customers, are a testament to how much careful planning and marketing she’s put into this thing. He can’t let all of her work go to waste.

Ben shoves his hands in his pockets and forces himself to start walking again, one foot in front of the other. “Okay. I’ll do it.”

“Yes! Thank you!” Phas squeezes his arm reassuringly. “I’ll introduce you and let you take over.”

Ben stops her before she’s able to hurry ahead of him to open the doors. “Hold on, just so we’re clear - I’m not going to sing any songs or dance around. I’ll go in there and talk to them, but that’s all I can promise.”

Phas nods. “Alright. Fair enough. Now brace yourself.”

She pulls open the doors to the kitchen and he’s immediately greeted by screaming. And yelling. There are upwards of fifty children but he can’t even begin to count them because they’re moving too fast. Some are playing tag, while others are just running around the kitchen seemingly for the hell of it.

Finn and Rose are right in the middle of the horde, with Finn actually participating in the game of tag while Rose tries to catch individual children and tell them to slow down. Poe is safely sitting off to the side in a chair, looking like he’s thoroughly appreciative of the fact that his leg is broken.

Cautiously, Ben steps a little further into the room and scans for Rey. She’s in a corner with a smaller group of children who appear _slightly_ more sedated as they sit in a circle playing duck-duck-goose. To his surprise Mitaka is with them, sitting cross-legged and patient as a young girl bops his head several times instead of moving on to the rest of the circle.

Rey looks up and catches his eye. She looks about as stressed and overwhelmed as he feels. Ben moves to go to talk to her, but Phasma grabs hold of his elbow before he’s able to.

“I told you it was bad!” she shouts over the noise. “I’m going to try to yell or whistle or something, see if that gets their attention—”

“Don’t bother,” he tells her.

Ben doesn’t know much about children, but he does know that he’s able to draw attention to himself without really trying. He’s tall and broad with funny looking features. He’ll always receive curious and slightly alarmed looks from strangers, no matter how small or nonthreatening he tries to make himself seem.

So he takes advantage of this, crossing over to the steel countertops of the work station. He hoists himself up to sit amongst the chocolate shavings and tools left over from the presentation and simply waits for the children to realize there’s someone new in the room.

It doesn’t take long. It’s like a domino effect, and if he wasn’t so nervous he’d laugh at how quickly it takes one child to notice his presence, then another, and then a few more.

When it’s quiet enough for her to speak, Phasma comes to stand beside him and clears her throat. “Now then. You are all going to come sit in neat little rows, legs crossed, and _wait_ for Mr. Solo to speak. He’s not going to start speaking until everyone is quiet and _behaving_ themselves. Is that clear?”

Practically every child in the room nods in understanding.

By far the most experienced with young children, Rose springs into action, helping them form an orderly line to come sit in front of him on the floor in five rows of ten. Once they’re subdued, all of them staring up at him with big round eyes, he finds they’re somehow _more_ intimidating than they were just a few minutes ago. Which doesn’t make much sense, but then his anxiety never has.

Ben takes in a gulp of breath, tries his best to smile, and then says the first thing he can think of. “You all look...festive. Ready for Halloween, I bet.”

He doesn’t know what he expected. Maybe for them to nod enthusiastically or to scream ‘YES’ at him before getting all riled up again. But they just...stare. Like he’s speaking a foreign language or something.

Ben glances up helplessly at his staff and realizes that at some point in all the chaos, his parents must have quietly slipped in. His mom and dad are both standing beside Rey and he’s glad they’re not talking to her just yet because the last thing he needs right now is both of them bombarding his new employee turned secret kissing partner with questions.

Realizing he’s staring, his mom and dad both give him a wave. But Rey...Rey smiles at him, with one of those huge beaming smiles of hers, and gives him a thumbs up. It’s odd, how such a small and simple gesture from her can bolter his confidence, but he finds it’s all the encouragement he needs to continue. Ben clears his throat and tries to engage the kids again, this time making a point to look at each and every one of them while he speaks.

“I remember always looking forward to Halloween growing up. Dressing up is always fun, but the best part is the candy. Who here likes candy?”

Every single hand shoots up. Ben smiles and raises his hand too. “I like all sorts of candy too, but I think my absolute favorite kind is chocolate. As my chocolatiers probably told you during their presentation, chocolate sets itself apart from other candies out there. It’s not sour but it’s not sickly sweet, either. You can mix it with all sorts of other things to make unique flavors. But do you know the best part? You can even drink it as hot chocolate. You can’t say the same for lollipops or gummy bears, can you?”  

That elicits a few giggles. They’re not the most captive audience ever but at least he’s got them laughing. Ben rakes a hand through his hair, trying to think of what else to say. “To tell the truth, I don’t know all there is to know about chocolate. I don’t work with chocolate day in and day out like my chocolatiers do. I just own the shop, but that’s alright, because every day I come into work I get to smell the chocolate, and I don’t let a single day go by without tasting at least one piece of it that’s made here. It’s not an easy job but the chocolate makes it worth it, and I’m glad you all could come and visit today. Are there any questions?”

With a speech as straight to the point as that he isn’t expecting any, but a little girl in the front row dressed as a bumblebee immediately shoots her hand up.

“Yes?”

“How did you get your own chocolate shop?”

“I inherited it.” At the children’s blank looks, Ben amends, “That means my mom and dad gave it to me. They used to own it before me.”

The little girl lowers her hand, visibly crestfallen. “Oh. My mommy and daddy don’t own a chocolate shop.”

Jesus. What’s he supposed to say to that? He glances up towards Rey again and she’s still smiling. She gives a little shrug as if to say ‘be honest’, and Ben keeps this in mind as he chooses his next words carefully.

“Well...you can own your own shop someday. It might take a while and it may not be easy, but if it’s what you want then I think you should try. Or...you can work here to start out.” The little girl’s eyes light up and she nods eagerly, the antennae on her yellow headband wobbling back and forth. “When you’re old enough, of course,” Ben adds quickly. _If this place is still even here by the time these kids are old enough_ , he thinks grimly.

“Thank you, Mr. Chocolate Man!”

“You’re welcome. It’s Mr. Solo.”

“Thanks, Mr. Solo.”

Ben nods, scanning the group of children again. One kid in the back row is picking his nose and another one is busy licking leftover chocolate off her hands but for the most part, they still seem actively interested in what he’s saying. That has to count for something, right?

“Any more questions?”

To his surprise, practically everyone shoots their hand up this time.

The questions range from practical to absurd, but he answers them all the best that he can. A girl dressed as Dorothy asks what his favorite type of chocolate is, to which he answers anything with mint. A rowdy cowboy seems to be thoroughly convinced that Ben truly is Willy Wonka and asks if there’s a secret room where he can lick the chocolate wallpaper.

“Uh...no. There’s not, unfortunately. All our walls taste like paint. Probably not a good idea to lick them. Please stick to licking the chocolate in the giftbags that will be provided to you. Thank you.”

The very last question is asked by the bumblebee girl again.

“Can you judge our costume contest? _Please_?”

He’d have to be heartless to say no to the child who’s quickly becoming his favorite out of the bunch. The fact that she goes on to _win_ the costume contest has absolutely nothing to do with his favoritism.

Okay, maybe it has a little bit to do with that. He keeps that to himself, though.

***

After the costume contest is done and Phasma and Rose usher the kids to the front of the shop again, Ben’s parents don’t waste any time introducing themselves to Rey. Ben’s dad even goes so far as to pull her into a hug, which she doesn’t really mind. Once his mom starts asking her questions like how old she is and how long she’s been in America, though, Rey is all too grateful when Ben pulls her aside to ask if she can see him in his office later.

“To reimburse you for what you spent on the party,” he explains.

Rey plays along as best she can, even though Phasma had given her the funds earlier in the week. “Sure thing, Mr. Solo. I’ll go get the receipts from my stuff when I have a minute.”

“Thank you.” He opens his mouth to say something else and then thinks better of it, instead giving her a short nod before leaving to drive his parents home. _Probably a good idea_ , Rey thinks.

It takes longer than expected for Phasma, Finn, Mitaka, Poe, and Rose to leave, as they’re all exceedingly nice and want to help clean up, but after Rey points out that _someone_ needs to stay behind until Mr. Solo returns, everyone eventually agrees to go home and enjoy the rest of their night.

Once she’s well and truly alone, Rey bides her time by taking the remainder of the decorations down up front, all the while trying her best to banish the butterflies in her stomach. But when the bell above the door rings again and she turns to see Ben there, taking up all the space in the entryway, those same butterflies are back again.

“Hi,” she greets him.

“Hello.”

He’s wearing his glasses again and looks so bloody adorable that she wants nothing more than to launch herself into his arms and kiss him all over his beautiful face, the same face that had looked _so_ nervous around all of those kids. She knows the look herself, and she could kick herself for not noticing it in him sooner and instead passing it up as anger or standoffishness.

The more time that goes on, and the more she sees him interact with others, she’s starting to realize that they really aren’t that different. That they both have trouble in social settings. She’d begun to suspect it anyway, but that look of horror when he’d first walked into the kitchen had confirmed it. He’d looked ready to bolt and she’d felt horrible for even subjecting him to such a thing.

Yet something had changed. He’d surprised her and probably everyone else by stepping up to the challenge and patiently answering every little question he was asked. He’d even managed the costume contest, winning the hearts of all those children in the process. _Maybe winning some of my heart too_ , she thinks, though she knows it’s silly to be so caught up in feelings for a man she’s only known for a week. A week! It’s ridiculous and maybe even a bit delusional to develop feelings for someone this quick but she finds she can’t stop it and what’s more, she doesn’t want to.

Rey bites her lip to keep her smile at bay but it doesn’t work, not when his eyes are crinkling at the corners in the makings of his own smile.

“You wanted to see me?” she asks.

“Yes. In my office,” he tells her, and she doesn’t miss his pointed look towards the lone security camera above them.

Rey nods in understanding. “Right. Your office.”

She follows him back to the kitchen again, trying to keep up with his long gait. He quickly unlocks the door to his office and holds it open for her. Rey passes by him, smelling that same peppermint she had when they’d kissed for the very first time. The memories come flooding back to her and her heart leaps in her chest at the thought of him lifting her off the ground, her holding on for dear life, him grounding out ‘ _fuck_ team spirit’ before capturing her lips with his…

She turns back around to face him once she hears the door close. “Ben, I—”

He kisses her before she’s able to finish the sentence. He cradles her cheeks as he brushes his lips against hers and Rey leans into his touch. It feels so right, so _good_ , to be close to him like this. She sighs against his mouth and he gently breaks apart only to press soft, unhurried kisses to the corners of her mouth and to the apples of her cheeks.

She feels wanted. Adored. Cherished in a way she’s never felt before. It’s a lot for her to process. She can’t do much else besides grin like an idiot while he continues to pepper her face with little kisses.

“Sorry. You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to do this all week,” he says against her skin.

“I do, though.”

“Really?” He kisses the tip of her nose and her forehead and she closes her eyes, savoring his touch.

“Mhm. You’re a big distraction.”

“ _I’m_ a distraction?”

She opens her eyes again and sees he’s nibbling his full bottom lip. Definitely a distraction. “Yep.”

“Huh.” He nods his head, brows furrowed, and then he lets out a sound that sounds suspiciously like a suppressed laugh.

“You don’t believe me?”

His ears are turning red. “I don’t know.”

“Well, you should, because it’s the truth. It’s hard to get work done around here when your boss looks like a fancy male model who should be in GQ or something.”

This time Ben actually does laugh and it’s not a quiet one either. He tips back his head and lets out a full belly laugh. Rey thinks it’s quite possibly the cutest sound she’s ever heard, so she tells him this, which only makes him laugh harder.

“I’m serious! I’ve never heard you laugh before now. It’s a nice sound.” She wraps her arms around his middle and buries her face against his chest to shut herself up. She finds it’s more than a bit embarrassing, to be so open and honest with someone like this, but as she feels him reciprocate her hug, the self-consciousness completely melts away.

“You make it so easy,” he murmurs.

“Make what so easy?”

He pauses. “Everything. All of it.”

It’s not a confession but she instinctively knows what he’s talking about. It doesn’t bother her that he hasn’t told her about the anxiety. Even if he never tells her, she doubts it will change her opinion of him. He’s here with her, actually speaking to her, _holding_ her, and that’s all she really wants.

“Ben?”

“Yes?”

“Did you have something you wanted to talk to me about? Not that I’m complaining if you didn’t. This is lovely.”

“Shit! Yeah, sorry. I did. Take a seat and I’ll get it.” He kisses her forehead again and pulls away. She sits down in the chair across from his desk and watches as he goes to open one of the desk drawers, taking out what looks like an old brown photo album. He pushes it across the way to her and then sits down in his own chair, rolling it around to her side of the desk so they’re beside each other again.

“I wanted to show this to you. I thought you might like it.”

“What’s it of? Baby pictures?” Rey grins, trying to imagine what he must’ve looked like as a baby. Jet black hair, those endearing ears of his, and pale chubby cheeks?

Ben grimaces as he flips open the album to the first page. “Uh, no. My mom has plenty of albums of that, but no. This is something else.”

Rey peers down at the photo. It’s of a young couple on their wedding day. The both of them look so loved up and unbelievably happy that her breath catches. “Your grandparents?”

“Yes. You were asking about them last week, during dinner, before I um...” He shifts uncomfortably in his seat. He’s clearly still berating himself over that dinner date.

Rey pats his knee in understanding. “Ben. It’s okay. This is so incredibly thoughtful.” No one has ever shown her anything like this before, or said ‘here, I thought you might like to share in this little part of me’. It means more to her than she can possibly put into words.

She swallows the lump in her throat and turns the page. It’s another shot of the couple at their wedding, both of their faces a mess from shoving pieces of wedding cake at each other. “What are their names?” she asks.

“Anakin and Padmé.”

“They’re so beautiful.” She runs her finger over the photo, committing Padmé’s flirty tea-length wedding dress to memory and the way that Anakin is staring at his wife. Oddly, she’s reminded of Maz’s words. _You should have seen his face when he saw you! Like you put the moon in the sky_.

Maz was surely pulling her leg at the time, but she’s starting to wonder if maybe there was an element of truth to her words. Had Ben really been staring at her like that, only a day after they’d met? Could this be _them_ someday? Ridiculously happy and in love? _Married_?

She shakes her head slightly to push aside those fanciful thoughts. She could revisit them later in private by herself. Not right now, in Ben’s office, with their knees all but touching and their shoulders pressed together as they lean over a photo album.

Ben flips forward a few pages, unaware of how far her thoughts have strayed. “That’s Padmé outside the shop right after it opened. It doesn’t look that much different.”

It really doesn’t. She recognizes the same whitewashed brick exterior, the same ‘Open/Closed’ sign...even the window display looks similar. “I think it’s nice that it hasn’t changed. You’ve preserved it very well.”

Ben huffs out a laugh. “It’s less to do with preserving the building and more to do with never having enough funds to change anything significant about it.”

Rey glances at him while he turns the page. Though somewhat relaxed right now, he always seems overworked and tired. He also carries a tension in his shoulders, no doubt a product of the stress that comes with maintaining a business.

“If funds weren’t an issue, though? How would you change this place? If money were no object?” she asks him.

He leans back in his seat a bit, crossing his arms as he thinks it over. “If money was no object...I don’t know what I’d do with it. Hire a designer to completely renovate it? Open another location? God, that’s something I’ve never considered before. _Two_ shops. That’s a lot.” But he’s smiling while he’s thinking about it, and Rey makes a mental note to go home tonight and start looking at competitions they can enter to help give this place a definitive leg up. It had been one of the other ideas she’d mentioned in the staff meeting, after all.

Finn had seemed excited about it. Mitaka, too. They would both be able to represent the company in a competition. Poe as well, if he’s recovered by then. So long as it isn’t her doing the competing. She’s never succeeded at that sort of thing for a number of reasons but she knows the chocolate they make here is good. More than good. It’s not the best she’s ever had - the best she’s tasted, hands down, has been her granddad’s wacky combinations of flavor-infused chocolate - but it reminds her of his, and it’s certainly a high enough quality to compete for some sort of prize. It’s worth a try, at least, to keep the shop operational. For her, for her co-workers, but especially for Ben. She knows by now how much _Say It With Sugar_ means to him.

“Would that be a goal you’d like to have? To have another shop location?” she asks.

Ben nods. “In a perfect world, yeah. I suppose. My mom says that before his health deteriorated, my grandpa had always talked of expanding. Even opening up a shop in Europe somewhere.”

“Do you want that, too?”

“No, no. Too far away from home for me. But he went to culinary school over there. He had connections, that sort of thing. He would’ve been able to manage just fine.”

“That’s right. He was close to his culinary school teacher, wasn’t he? I remember you saying…”

“Yeah. Actually - there’s a picture of them in here somewhere. I’ll find it.”

He flips through the album hurriedly and Rey catches more glimpses of Anakin and Padmé. One taken at Christmas, bundled up in the snow with their two small children. Another one snapped at the lakeshore during the summer, where Rey herself has been many times before. It’s strange, seeing so many candid and intimate moments of a family stored within a little book. She can’t really relate. Her granddad loved taking photos of her, just not himself, so while she has plenty of pictures of her childhood - playdates, losing her first tooth, every first day of school from primary to sixth form - she doesn’t have any photos of _him_. Her only family.

“Here we go. That’s them together.” Ben’s voice pulls her from her thoughts. He points to another black and white photo and Rey smiles as she leans forward to take a better look at it.

Her heart stops in her chest. It’s Anakin and beside him, her...granddad?

She’s hit with so many emotions at once. Surprise, first of all. Her granddad had spent a few years here in the States when he was younger, but she’d never known what he had done during that time. She _should_ have known, what with this town having a chocolate shop and him being a chocolatier, but she’s never connected the dots till just now and she feels stupid. Stupid, and more than a bit sad. Sadder than she’s felt in awhile, to be honest, as she’s quite literally faced with a physical reminder of someone she misses so much that it hurts.

When she doesn’t say anything, Ben clears his throat. “My mom says he was incredibly talented. One of the best chocolatiers in Europe, I think. I mean, he would’ve had to have been. He helped my grandpa come up with each recipe for every type of chocolate we still sell today. I’m no expert but that probably required a significant amount of skill, wouldn’t you say?”

“What’s his name?” Rey manages to ask past the blood pounding in her ears. She’s trying her best to pretend that her entire world hasn’t just been shifted by a single, solitary photo, but she doesn’t think it’s working.

“Same as mine. Ben. Well, I think people called him ‘Old Ben’, except he’s a bit younger there. I’m not sure about a last name. My mom or uncle might know. They met him a few times when they were kids. I _wish_ I knew his last name, or if he’s still alive and well somewhere with all that incredible talent and experience to pass on. Maybe then I could get in contact with him and see if he could help tweak the recipes or create new ones. God knows we could use a miracle like him right now.”

Oh god. Oh god oh _god_. She’d told Ben’s parents her last name when she’d introduced herself earlier. Mrs. Solo had given her a funny look and at the time Rey had interpreted it as the older woman sizing her up, but now the realization is setting in that maybe Mrs. Solo had recognized the name ‘Kenobi’ and was trying to place where she’d heard it before.

What’s going to happen when people here find out she’s the granddaughter of Ben Kenobi? She can’t live with that level of pressure again. She’d barely passed culinary school because of it. All of those master chocolatiers recognizing her last name on sight and expecting the same level of ingenuity out of her work, only to be disappointed when she tensed up or flat out forgot her technique during exams? It had been horrible, and a big part of the reason why she’d moved to the States once she’d graduated.

She’d thought in a sleepy town like this, no one would think twice about her last name and the legacy that came with it. But she’d been wrong and now she has to think of some way, of _any_ way, to fix this problem.

Rey stands abruptly from her seat. “Um. I have to go.”

“Are you okay?” Ben stands too. He’s frowning and she knows he can probably tell that she isn’t okay, not even close, but she’s already panicking and has to get away before she bursts into tears.

She manages a smile. “Fine! Just tired. It’s been a long day.”

“I’ll give you a ride home then.”

“No no! That’s okay. I have to get some shopping done first and the store’s on the bus route home, so...I’d best be going, to catch the next bus on time,” she prattles on, purposely avoiding his gaze as she makes her way over to the door.

“Rey,” Ben starts, following after her. She opens the door and then feels his hand on the small of her back, his touch featherlight and hesitant. She forces herself to turn and look at him and immediately regrets it. He looks worried. Confused. Disappointed. She doesn’t deserve this man. She feels like a crook, keeping this part of her past from him, and she doesn’t know how much longer she’ll be able to work here without him figuring it out.

“I’m sorry. I have to go,” she whispers.

She hurries out of his office without another backward glance and once she’s out of the kitchen and away from his view, she breaks into a full-out run. She runs down the hallway to the front of the shop, outside to the end of the street, and doesn’t stop running until she’s all way to the bus stop, out of breath and choking back tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for continuing to support this fic! It took me like a month to update but I appreciate every kudo, comment, hit, and subscription that kept motivating me to write! 
> 
> I am OVER THE MOON to announce this fic now has [fanart](http://emilyredekerart.tumblr.com/post/171030365222/ridingbensolo-requested-ben-and-rey-in-the)! Please go support the artist on tumblr by liking and reblogging their hard work! Thank you to my bae ridingbensolo for requesting the art for me <3 
> 
> [Aesthetic for this chapter](http://fettuccine-alfreylo.tumblr.com/post/171039285129/say-it-with-sugar-chapter-6-ben-solo-is-the). 
> 
> [Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/sehigh91/playlist/2cYwtGUC2GJ2cTGyVLs2tz).


	7. Chapter 7

“You’re quiet today.”

Ben shifts in his seat and reluctantly pulls his gaze away from the window of Hux’s office, where he’s been watching the rain pour down outside. “I’m always quiet.” 

Hux smiles. “True. But you’re quieter than usual today, I would say. About as quiet as you were when you first started coming to see me.”

“It wasn’t that long ago.” 

“No. But each session you’ve shown you’re able to open up a bit more. Today is different. You’ve given me mostly one word answers and we’re—” Hux pulls up the sleeve of his sweater to check his watch. “Just about at the end of our one hour session.” 

Ben can feel his ears warming up with embarrassment. Had he been doing that with his answers? He hadn’t noticed. “I’m sorry. I guess I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

“Don’t be sorry. It’s alright. Do you want to talk about it?”

Not especially, but he knows he should. “I fucked up.”

“With Rey?”

“Yeah.”

“What happened?” As usual, Hux reaches for his pen and pad of paper while Ben thinks it over.

What _had_ happened? He doesn’t know exactly. One moment he’d been sitting there beside her, showing her the photo album, and the next she’d bolted. Now he knows what she must’ve felt like when he left her at Maz’s, and that thought just makes him feel even worse.

“I showed her a photo album of my grandparents. I saw it at my mom’s and thought it’d be a good idea. A way for me to keep opening up to her, since I have trouble with that.”

Hux nods. “And how did she react?”

“At first? She told me it was thoughtful. She sat right there with me and flipped through it. Asking questions, talking to me.” Ben swallows. “But maybe...maybe it was too much, too soon. She doesn’t have a family and there I was, rubbing my own in her face _again_. It was a stupid mistake on my part, I guess.” 

“Bullshit.”

Ben straightens in his seat. Hearing his straightlaced therapist curse so casually pulls him from the downward pity spiral his thoughts had been headed. “What?”

Hux caps his pen and tosses his pad of paper to the side. “I said bull-fucking-shit. It wasn’t a stupid mistake. It was a bloody good idea. For your task this week I was going to have you give something to someone, but you’ve done it on your own already. You were able to open up to her by giving her that piece of yourself. You’re making tremendous progress, Ben. I don’t say this often to my clients unless I well and truly mean it but I’m impressed. Really.”

Objectively, Ben knows that Hux is right. He’s doing better than he ever has before. He’s keeping up with his parents like he knows he should, talking to his employees more often, and he even managed to deal with fifty very hyper children at the Halloween party. But all of that good work fades when he thinks of Rey. She’d been in his arms, for fuck’s sake, returning his kisses and hugging him and it had felt _so_ natural, so easy. He doesn’t think he’s ever felt that carefree and happy in anyone’s presence before. But now...now he doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to experience that again with her, and the thought makes his chest ache.

“What’s going through your head right now, Ben?” Hux asks quietly. Ben glances up at him and sees he’s holding out a box of tissues. Right on cue, Ben’s eyes start to water. _Well, shit_. So much for avoiding the pity spiral.

He’d spent all day Saturday and Sunday bottling up his emotions at work, pointedly avoiding even _looking_ in Rey’s direction so as not to upset himself, but fuck it. He reasons it’s time to let himself break down a bit. He takes a tissue from Hux with a muttered ‘thanks’ and wipes at his eyes. Hux stays quiet while he does this rather than asking him any further questions and Ben appreciates this more than he can possibly say. When he finishes therapy - _if_ he ever finishes therapy - the first thing he’s going to do is ask Hux if he wants to go out for a beer, ethics and professional boundaries be damned. It’s the least he can do to say thanks.

When he’s confident he can speak again without choking on his words, Ben tries to answer Hux’s question. “It doesn’t feel like I’m making any progress, to be honest. I know I am, but I just...keep fucking things up with her. It’s like the moment I think I’ve taken one step forward, I’m thrown three steps back. It’s exhausting. But God, I really like her.”

“Have you considered the possibility that you’re doing everything you can at the moment, and that _she’s_ the one who still needs to work through some things of her own?”

“I...hadn’t, really,” Ben admits. He’d been so worked up over what _he_ had done wrong that he hadn’t given much thought to her emotions, aside from her pretty obvious distress. He feels like an asshole for not thinking this through sooner but in a way, it does make him feel slightly better. If what happened in his office was merely a matter of Rey not being ready for that level of intimacy or having some baggage of her own, he can work with that. If what she needs is time and space, he can give her both. “So...I wait?”

“You wait, or you can ask her directly what happened that day.”

Ben shakes his head. “I don’t want to push her or ask her something that she’s not comfortable sharing with me.”

“So don’t. An honest conversation will have to happen sooner or later for your relationship to move forward but in the meantime, keep doing what you’ve been doing. Show her through your actions that you still care.”

“I can’t just corner her and kiss her. After what happened on Friday that’d be...weird.”

“Not kissing, no. Follow her lead on that. What I’m suggesting is simple acts of kindness on your end. She sounds hesitant to open up, just as you are. Helping her feel at ease around you will facilitate the process. Is there anything you can think of that would be appropriate? Maybe something at work you could help her with?” 

Rey had mentioned entering a chocolate making competition a week ago at the staff meeting, and the reception to this idea from the rest of the staff had been positive. While he wouldn’t be able to contribute anything to the actual competition itself, he can certainly start researching which one  _Say It With Sugar_ can enter. It’ll be one less thing that Rey has to do.

“Yeah, I think I know something I can work on.”

“I’m glad, Ben. I look forward to hearing about it next week. Monday at four still work for you?”

“Monday, yeah. See you then.”

Ben leaves the session with a renewed sense of purpose. He still can’t help feeling disappointed with what happened on Friday, but now there’s definitely something he can do to restore some semblance of normalcy at work with Rey. No more avoiding her, no more excuses. If the only role he can fill for her right now is that of a supportive boss, he’ll do it.

He nods, satisfied, and hurries across the business complex’s parking lot to his car. His phone vibrates twice in his pocket on the way there. Once he’s inside and out of the rain with the heat turned on, he checks his messages and suppresses a sigh when he sees who it is.

[ **Mom | Sent: 5:05pm** ] Hi honey! Call me when you get a chance?

[ **Mom | Sent: 5:06pm** ] It’s about Rey...

Ben pockets his phone again and puts his car in reverse, pulling out of his parking space. Berating his mom about meddling in his attempt at a relationship isn't high on his to-do list right now. Strengthening the relationship itself is. Whatever she has to say about Rey will just have to wait. 

***

Rey has had a shit two days off work. A shit two days full of increasing dread that someone, probably Ben, is going to figure out her history. And when that happens? She doesn’t know what she’s going to do. Will people at work think Ben had just...just _given_ her the job because of who she’s related to? Will Ben think less of her through her lying by omission? She doesn’t want to find out. But when the alternative is dealing with the situation directly like a reasonable adult, going to Ben and telling him everything...somehow that makes her even _more_ panicked.

So, like any maladjusted but functioning anxious person, she tries her best to avoid the situation entirely. She starts off by scrubbing her kitchen from top to bottom, then completely rearranging the furniture in her living room. When that doesn’t work, she huddles under her bed covers with Bebe and waits for her dose of melatonin to knock her out. 

“I’ll be okay. These things tend to work themselves out naturally. It’ll be fine.”

She scratches behind Bebe’s ears and his rhythmic purring lulls her into a strong enough sense of security that when she finally drifts off to sleep, she _almost_ believes that things will indeed be fine... 

That is, until Wednesday morning when Rey arrives bright and early back to work and sees the huge sign posted inside the window display.

**HELP SEND OUR CHOCOLATIERS TO NEW YORK!**

**_BUY ONE GET ONE ½ OFF_ ** **_ALL_ ** **_CHOCOLATE TILL CHRISTMAS!_**

 **_Proceeds will go directly towards Say It With Sugar’s costs to compete_** **_in the national qualifying round of the International Chocolate Mastery Competition this December!_ **

Rey can feel her face drain itself of color as she rereads the words. There’s a competition. Someone found a competition. Of course there’s a competition. It had been an idea she’d given at the staff meeting, hadn’t it? But that had all been before the picture. The _picture_ had changed her entire trajectory, making her realize that under no circumstances can she compete in a chocolate competition, much less an international-level one where a name like ‘Kenobi’ will be recognized.  

“Rey?”

Rey’s stomach lurches in response to the voice behind her, that wonderfully deep and soft voice with which she’s become intimately familiar. This can’t be happening now. Why of all days did _he_ have to open the shop instead of Phasma? She can’t face him like this. But she has to, _she has to_ , because whenever she shuts her eyes she can see him standing there in his office, asking her what’s the matter and if he can drive her home, being so caring and generous despite his obvious hurt and oh god, she’s the _worst_ person for disappointing him and not telling him the truth and— 

“Ben! Hi!” She turns around to face him and feels the air leave her chest. He’s bundled up in a forest green peacoat, his hair still slightly wet from a shower and the pale skin of his cheeks tinged pink from the early November chill. She’s definitely staring and he definitely knows it because his cheeks turn an even deeper pink as he glances down at the drink tray that she belatedly realizes he’s been holding the entire time.

“Would you like some coffee?”

“Thank you! I’d love some,” she rushes to say, taking one of the piping hot coffees from him. She takes several large sips that scald her tongue and throat but she doesn’t mind, honestly, because at this point she’d rather willingly hurt herself than lose her cool around him again and if that’s not the most _perfect_ metaphor for the predicament she’s in, she doesn’t know what is.

Ben unlocks the door to the shop and Rey wastes no time speeding past him to the kitchen as he punches in the code to disarm the security system.

“Breathe. Breathe. _Breathe_ ,” she tells herself, making a mess of the belongings in her locker as she hastily pulls out her uniform and buttons it up. With that done she locks herself inside one of the bathrooms adjacent to the break room and nervously chokes down the rest of her coffee until she hears Finn and Mitaka’s easygoing chatter a few minutes later. Chatter with Finn and Mitaka she can handle, no problem.

Or so she thinks, until it’s apparent that all they want to talk about is the damn chocolate competition.

Finn is practically jumping up and down in excitement about it. “God, I’m so nervous. When Phas texted me about it last night I nearly pissed myself. But I’m really looking forward to it in a way, too? This could be huge for us. Huge! And just think, if it weren’t for you, Rey, no one would have thought to enter the competition in the first place! 

Rey pastes on a smile and steadies herself against the lockers. She’s going to be physically ill if they keep talking about this. She can already feel the coffee roiling in her empty stomach. 

“How’d Phas find out about this thing? Not that I’m complaining but we have, like, a month to prepare. That’s not a lot of time,” Mitaka frets.

Finn shakes his head. “She didn’t find out, it was Solo. Phas said he spent all yesterday looking for one we could qualify for that wasn’t crazy expensive and held somewhere like France.”

Mitaka frowns. “Huh. That doesn’t sound like him. He didn't seem overly keen about the idea when Rey first mentioned it but then again, when has he ever been overly keen about anything besides, well, this?”

“Yeah, I don’t know what’s come over him either, but I like this new version of him.” Finn holds up his cup of coffee identical to the one Ben had given her. “I mean, free coffee? Allowing parties? I could get used to this, even if it means him giving us awkward handshakes from time to time—”

“Finn, shut up!” Rey snaps.

Finn and Mitaka turn to look at her, both of their mouths slightly parted in what she recognizes as shock. She hadn’t been able to help it. Being severely on edge and having downed an entire cup of coffee, the words had just...slipped out, and now it’s too late to take them back. But she doesn’t even _want_ to take them back because she’s furious, mostly at herself but also at them, for being so _normal_ about the prospect of a competition when she can barely breathe just thinking about it. Also for continuing to poke fun at Ben, because can’t they _see_ how hard he’s trying? How much he’s doing to keep this shop afloat? How much he obviously cares for his employees, even though he hasn’t come out and said it?  

“Just...quit talking shit, you two, okay?” she says rather lamely, when it’s apparent that neither of them are going to offer up a retort for her being so short with Finn.

Thankfully Phasma disrupts the awkward silence only moments later, poking her head into the room just as they’re all finishing up changing into their work clothes.

“Hi, all. Just wanted to let you know Chewie’s called out sick this morning. I was wondering if any of you would like to man the register today? If not I can do it, I know it’s a lot to ask short notice and I’d hate to pull you away from your actual work unless absolutely necessary—”

“I’ll do it,” Rey chimes in, already working to unbutton her uniform. It’ll be a nice change of pace, she thinks. It’ll help her clear her head, give her some time away from Finn, Mitaka...and also Ben. This way, she won’t lapse into a panic every time she glances up from her work station in the direction of his office. That had happened all day Saturday and Sunday and she’s not eager to repeat it so soon.

“Oh, Rey! You’re a peach. Are you absolutely sure?” Phasma sighs in relief, gesturing for Rey to follow her to the front of the shop.

“Absolutely,” Rey tells her. “I did cashier work at my previous job so it’ll be no trouble at all.”

It’s a white lie. Cashier work has never been her forte, what with all the small talk and greetings and social niceties, but at this point she’s desperate. _Just get me the hell out of this kitchen_ , she thinks _._  

*** 

About an hour before the shop is due to close for the day, Rey notices an older gentleman customer carefully studying each different type of chocolate on display. He goes up and down every display case, even leaning in unnecessarily close so that his nose nearly touches the glass, but not once does he ask to try a sample like the other customers do. Even though Phas had assured her she needn’t worry too much about making sales in addition to working the cashier, this man looks like the type of customer who could potentially spend a significant amount of money if given the right motivation. And the chocolate batches they’d made on Sunday are certainly good enough to serve as that motivation, half off sale or no.

Taking a deep breath, Rey picks up a tray of their bestsellers and comes out from behind the counter to approach him. She can do this. She can help make a sale. Easy peasy. It’s chocolate! Who doesn’t like chocolate? Even someone who looks decidedly like a creepy Bond villain _has_ to like chocolate, right?

“Are you finding everything alright, sir?”

He glances at her briefly. “No, not really, but it’s fine. I was actually biding my time until you asked me if I needed any help. Your customer service skills leave much to be desired but I suppose you’re a step up from that _Russian_ who’s normally here.”

“His name is Chewie,” Rey feels the need to say. What the hell is this guy’s problem?

He waves his hand dismissively. “I was hoping to speak with the owner, Mr. Solo. I assume he’s in? Tell him Mr. Snoke of First Order Sweets Emporium would like a word. He’ll know who I am, we’ve spoken previously.”

The name of the company definitely rings a bell, but she’s not about to break under the pressure of him namedropping whatever stupid, pretentious ‘sweets emporium’ he owns. “He’s in a meeting,” Rey hedges. It’s not necessarily a lie. He meets with Phasma at least once a day, right?

The stranger sighs, straightening up to his full height. Rey can’t help but feel at least a little bit threatened, being the sole object of his scrutiny. “Any idea when he’ll be done?”

“Hard to say.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes.”

“Hm, disappointing. Well, I’ll be on my way soon, then. Thank you.”

 _The sale, don’t forget the sale! What if he writes a bad Yelp review?_ Rey’s thoughts scream at her. She clears her throat and forces herself to smile, stepping a bit closer. “These are some of our bestsellers here. Would you like to try one before you leave?”

“No thank you. I’m not interested in those.”

“Any kind of chocolate you like in particular? ”

He sniffs. “I doubt this shop would have it.”

Rey wills herself to take a calming breath to control her rising temper because _honestly_ _,_ what a bloody prick. “Well, I can certainly check to see if we have any. Can you tell me what it is you like?” 

He raises one of his painfully thin arms to scratch his chin in contemplation. Rey doubts he’s truly thinking it over; he strikes her as the kind of person who, despite his obvious disdain for waiting, likes to make others do it for him just because. Well, two can play at this game. Rey forces herself to continue smiling, meeting his unsettling gaze head on. After a rather intense staring competition, neither of them saying a word, he finally bares his teeth in a vague resemblance of an answering smile. “Do you have something with chai in it, perhaps? Ginger?”

Crap. They don’t make anything like that. Rey is stuck, thinking of what to say, and then the old man _laughs_ at her.

“I thought not. No matter.”

As he moves to leave, Rey blurts out, “We don’t have that but we do have a sale on all our chocolate right now. Buy one get one half off. It’s to raise funds for—” 

“For the ICMC, yes. I read the sign.” He chuckles humorlessly and turns around to face her again. “The price of the chocolate is of no concern to me, girl. I care about the _quality_. The craftsmanship. This chocolate you sell in your shop lacks a certain...something.” Over the course of the conversation he’s steadily raised his voice to the point where they can now be overheard and to Rey’s mortification, several other customers murmur their agreement with what he’s said. She has a sneaking suspicion that he’s done this on purpose, to cause a scene. But she can fix this. She _has_ to fix this. The shop is just starting to get on its feet again and she’s not going to let this dickhead change that.

“Our chocolate is good quality, sir. Very good quality. _Say It With Sugar_ has been open for over fifty years and our recipes are tried and true.”

The old man scoffs. “Ah, but that’s precisely the problem! Your chocolate is old fashioned. No element of surprise. Nothing exciting. It’s _boring_. People want something _new_ , something different. Chocolate this sub par won’t stand a chance in an international competition. I should know. My company has won the ICMC. _Twice_.”

The entire shop is silent now. All the other customers are listening in on the conversation.

If she were a few years younger, just out of culinary school and her confidence in tatters, she would have given up already and let the old man have the last word. But Rey has grown since then and she finds she’s _angry_ that some...some _stranger_ thinks that he can come into the shop and insult the chocolate that she and her fellow employees have worked so very hard on. So she sets down her tray of chocolates on the nearby counter, puts her hands on her hips, and tries to look as intimidating as possible even though he’s impossibly tall.

“As a matter of fact, we _do_ have something different, sir.” 

“Oh? Please point me in that direction because I’m seeing nothing but mediocre chocolate throughout this entire store.”

Rey sees red but she’s able to grit out, “It’s in development. We’re coming up with an entirely new line of chocolate for the competition. We’ll debut the line here so that customers can get a chance to taste everything.” The lie comes to her easy enough and much to her satisfaction, it wipes the old man’s smug expression off his face.

“This shop has never had a new line of chocolate.”

“Well, it will soon.”

“When?”

In her head, Rey calculates how much time it would take her, in theory, to come up with at least twenty different varieties of what they already sell. “In a few weeks. By Thanksgiving.”

The old man regards her closely for a moment. “Then I look forward to trying it, Miss…?”

Rey points to her adhesive nametag that Phas had given her this morning. “Rey.”

“Do you have a last name, Rey?” His pale blue eyes narrow, looking down to where she’s pointing. Rey had hastily scribbled ‘Rey :)’ before she’d slapped it on her shirt and now she’s incredibly grateful she hadn’t put her full name, because she’s almost certain this man would recognize it. God knows what he would do with _that_ information.

“Does it matter?” she challenges him, feeling bolder than she’s ever felt before.

His brows raise in surprise but he doesn’t fight her on it, instead holding out his hand for her to shake. “Well then, Miss Rey, I’ll see you near Thanksgiving and if not then, certainly at the competition.” 

“At the competition, sure.” Rey reaches out to quickly shake his hand once and then pulls back, shoving her hand in her pocket. She holds her breath as she watches him leave the shop and doesn’t let it out until he’s completely out of sight. Only then does the gravity of the situation hit her. Before, she’d _maybe_ stood a chance of somehow getting out of going to the competition, but now? She’s practically signed her commitment to this thing in her own blood. If that wasn't bad enough, she also has to come up with a new line of chocolates in under a _month_. By _herself_ , unless Finn or Mitaka can miraculously create at least a dozen competition-worthy recipes.

Rey pushes through her rising dizziness and rings up the last of the customers, but then, when she’s finally alone, she doubles over and tucks her head between her knees, trying to gain control of herself.

If her situation was shitty before, she’s made it grow into a shitstorm in a matter of minutes. And when shitstorms happen, her anxiety goes into full throttle. There’s only one thing she knows to do when it’s this bad. 

“Support group,” Rey groans.

***

Ben isn’t really in the habit of checking his email. _Say It With Sugar_ is a small company and every so often the customer service account will get a message but Phas usually answers those. Still, ever since the financial success of the Halloween party she’s been bugging him to check his work email more regularly. Something about appearing ‘more available’ as the CEO, whatever that means.

So right before he’s finished for the day he quickly logs into his account, not really expecting any messages aside from spam. Except there _is_ a message sitting there in his inbox. Sent today, actually, but the sender is someone he has no interest in replying to. Frederick Snoke. He’d already told the businessman a few weeks back that he wasn’t interested in First Order Sweets Emporium buying out Say It With Sugar, and he doubts there’s anything more the guy can say to change his mind.  

But he does a double take once he reads the subject line. _Shit_. Fingers strumming impatiently on his desktop, Ben clicks to open the rest of the message.

 

_From: fsnoke@firstordersweets.com_

_To: bensolo@siwschocolate.com_

**_Subject: ICMC_ **

_Mr. Solo,_

_I was in your neck of the woods today and thought I’d stop by Say It With Sugar. I hear you’re entering the International Chocolate Making Competition this year - about time! Good luck to you. A new line is certainly ambitious but I have no doubt your chocolatiers will do well. See you there, perhaps?_

_Best,_

_Frederick Snoke_  

_P.S. I had the absolute delight of meeting your shopgirl Rey today. Keep her around, she’s charming. I feel much more inclined to purchase your chocolate from such a sweet young thing._

 

Ben’s mood considerably sours once he finishes reading the entire thing. One, because he doesn’t like the idea of Snoke or really anyone referring to one of his employees, who isn’t even a shopgirl, as a ‘sweet young thing’. Two, because he's pretty sure there was a thinly veiled insult towards Chewie in that last sentence and three, he has no idea about this new line of chocolate Snoke is referring to. _Say It With Sugar_ has always had just one line of chocolate, the same one that’s been around since his grandparents first opened this place. Nothing fancy or revolutionary. Just ordinary, regular chocolate.  

Ben frowns. Count that as the fourth reason why the message ruined his relatively good mood. What the _hell_ had he been thinking, entering such a prestigious competition? Pitting his chocolatiers against a company like First Order Sweets?

With a curse he logs out of his email and shuts off his computer altogether. Unless they can pull off some sort of miracle, this competition is going to be a disaster for everyone involved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter summed up:  
>  **Snoke: *says something offensive***  
>  **Rey: NOT TODAY, SATAN!**
> 
> Thank you all soooo much for the feedback and continual support. I know I always say that but I really do mean it. Every comment, every kudo, every bookmark, hit, subscription...I love it all & I love interacting with you so you should totally keep commenting *flirts by blinking both my eyes because I can't fucking wink*
> 
> Any ideas who should be in Rey's support group? I'm reading the TLJ novelization right now and the Resistance has several endearing minor characters that need more love...what do you think? Let me know in the comments! 
> 
> MUCH LOVE to [darkknightdarkside](http://darkknightdarkside.tumblr.com) for reading the therapy section for me again and ensuring me that no, it does not completely suck :')
> 
> [Aesthetic for this chapter](http://fettuccine-alfreylo.tumblr.com/post/171642999794/say-it-with-sugar-chapter-7-ben-solo-is-the).
> 
> [Playlist](https://open.spotify.com/user/sehigh91/playlist/2cYwtGUC2GJ2cTGyVLs2tz).


	8. Chapter 8

“So, I made it to the store by myself yesterday. I really wanted to make this vegan lasagna I saw online. In the past I wouldn’t have even considered going out to get ingredients for just one meal. But I did it anyway. And it felt really good, you know? Once I was there, at least. I chickened out at the last minute and did self checkout instead of the real thing, but...progress. I’m getting there.” Kaydel leans back in her seat and tightens the identical topknot buns she always styles her hair into. Rey recognizes it as a nervous habit, and she smiles encouragingly when Kaydel looks her way.

She’s always admired Kaydel’s eccentricity; from her boho style, her commitment to veganism, to the fact that she’s made a living selling refurbished furniture. She doesn’t _look_ like she would be the type to have social anxiety. Then again, no one in the group does. Snap Wexley is a football coach for the local high school, Tallie Lintra is a pilot, and both Bodhi Rook and Alex Kallus are Vietnam vets. All are badasses in their own right and appear as normal as can be. But that’s the thing about anxiety, Rey supposes - it doesn’t discriminate in who it affects. It’s a strangely comforting thought, in a way.

“Thanks for sharing, Kaydel,” the group says.

Kaydel grins and crosses her arms. “Thanks, guys. Really.”

“Would anyone else like to go?” Bodhi says, looking around the group with his big, trusting brown eyes. Pushing his late seventies, he’s the oldest here aside from Kallus, and as the two elders, they tend to run the group more or less. This works just fine for Rey, who’d rather sink into the floor than run one of these meetings.

When Bodhi’s question goes unanswered, Kallus catches her eye and nods, signaling it's about time she shared. He’s always been pushier in his approach than Bodhi. Rey doesn’t mind it as much as when she first started coming; she still needs a bit of coaxing to talk, especially today. She glances across the group to the one other person who hasn’t spoken yet. The middle aged man is a newcomer, or at least no one she recognizes from past meetings. He doesn’t look up, though, so she takes that as her cue to start.

“Hi, I’m Rey, and I have social anxiety.”

“Hi, Rey,” the group chimes back to her.

She starts pulling at a thread on her jeans to give her hands something to do while she talks. “So, I haven’t come to one of these in awhile. Over six months, I think? Not because I didn’t need to come, because I have, but...I’ve been busy living life and sometimes the time just slips away from me, you know?”

The group murmurs their understanding, bolstering Rey’s confidence to get to the real reason why she’s returned after this long.

“A lot of good things have been happening in my life recently. I got a new job as an actual chocolatier at a chocolate shop. I’ve only been there three weeks and I still have to pinch myself everyday when I wake up because it doesn’t feel real. The job itself is a dream, and my coworkers are so nice. They’re quickly becoming like family, in a way.” Her thoughts stray to Ben and her stomach lurches in response. “I’ve also met someone. I’ve never dated anyone before so I never really knew what it was I wanted out of a partner, if that makes sense? But now that I’ve met him, I realize that he’s everything that I didn’t know I was looking for. He’s handsome. Caring. Loves his family. Hardworking. So tall that it’s intimidating at first, but now that I’ve gotten to know him better it’s endearing. He’s also shy. I’m pretty sure he has social anxiety just like me, even though he hasn’t said yet.”

Rey looks up and sees that the man who hasn’t spoken is now staring at her with open curiosity. Like she’s a bug under a microscope or something. Slightly uncomfortable with the intensity she finds there, she quickly glances back down as she continues, “Anyway...having a new job and new people in my life sounds good in theory, but we all know life is never as simple as that, right? And my life is _so_ not simple at the moment.” She can feel her eyes start to sting with oncoming tears but she just lets it happen. She’s cried during group before and she knows it won’t be the last time she does it, either. She normally hates crying in front of people; it makes her feel vulnerable, stupid, and weak - but she knows it’s a natural part of sharing here, where the people who see her cry won’t think she’s any of those things. 

“It’s just...I don’t know what else to do. I feel like my life is falling apart just as it’s really starting to begin and it’s all my own fault.”

She’s tempted to stop there, to not go into any further detail for privacy’s sake, but she’s kept everything bottled up till this point and it’s been...not good. Worrying herself sick, making up excuses and lies, practically digging her new job its own grave...so she lets everything spill out, trusting that no one here will talk about it outside the group. She starts at the beginning: the interview, getting the job, going on a date with her boss - _Ben_. Kissing Ben. Throwing the party, then kissing Ben again. The picture he’d shown her and her resulting meltdown. The shop’s entry into the competition. Fighting with that awful man named Snoke in front of customers, and telling a bald faced lie about a new line of chocolate due in a month.

By the time she’s finished rambling she isn’t expecting everyone to be actively listening to her dilemma. To her surprise, she glances up and realizes that they all have their eyes on her...in shock, maybe? Disbelief? Disappointment? She can’t really tell.

“Holy shit, Rey,” Snap Wexley finally says.

“Snap! No cross-talking!” Tallie barks out, ever the stickler for rules and protocol.

Snap just rolls his eyes in response. “This is an informal support group with no set rules, Tallie. Not AA or NA. I should know, I’ve been to both.”

“Well, it’s still impolite! Isn’t it, Bodhi?”

Bodhi clears his throat. “Cross-talking isn't strictly forbidden here, no, but it is considered good group manners to keep to yourself when someone else is speaking.” Tallie nods, seemingly satisfied with this answer, while Snap huffs out an annoyed sigh.

“However,” Kallus adds after a moment, his voice gruff with age, “If it’s what you want, Rey, it might help to hear some feedback from other group members. We have a few minutes left here and you sound...stuck.”

Rey is quick to agree. “Yes, please. I need help. I’ll take any advice at this point.”

“Well,” Snap joins right back in, shooting an ill-disguised smug smile Tallie’s way, “it sounds like the performance aspect is what’s causing you the most anxiety. We’ve all been there. I feel it often when I coach. Fear of falling short of expectations, right?”

“That’s a huge part of it, yeah. If people - my coworkers, but especially the judges of this competition - figure out who I’m related to, I’ll blank. It happened at culinary school a lot. It’s like I’m paralyzed from fear, so much that I can’t think straight or move my hands the way I want them to. If that same thing happens at the competition I won’t be of any use and I’ll let everyone down.”

“What if you just avoid the performance aspect of your anxiety altogether?”

Rey shakes her head, thinking back to the absolutely _stupid_ lie she’d told Snoke that had pretty much locked in her commitment to this whole thing. “I’ve passed that point. I have to come up with a line and I have to compete in the competition. There’s no getting out of it.”

“No, what I mean is that...if you pull the attention away from yourself, there’s less of a chance of anything bad happening. Of anyone finding out who you’re related to.”

“I don’t know how I’d go about that.”

Snap scratches his beard in thought. “Well, I know a way but you none of you guys will like it because it involves some lying—”

“Snap—” Tallie warns, but he cuts her off by holding up his hand.

“Okay fine, maybe not lying exactly but just...omitting certain parts of the truth. Your grandpa probably taught you a lot, right? Loads of recipes, techniques, things like that?”

Rey’s first memories are of stirring melted chocolate, sneaking her finger into the bowl for a taste when her grandad turned his back. By the time she was six, she could make her own batches to take to school for Christmas parties. As she grew older, she learned more and more from him: flavor infusions, carving, molds, garnishes...nothing was ever deemed ‘too advanced’ for her to try, and every technique was thoroughly explained with utmost care and patience by him. He hadn’t just taught her how to make chocolate; he’d shown her how it was truly an art form.

“He did. He taught me as much as he knew,” Rey manages to say, feeling her throat close as another round of tears spring up.

“So you can replicate all of that?” Snap asks, gentler this time.

Rey straightens in her seat and hastily wipes at her eyes. “It wouldn’t be easy but in theory I could. Can. Maybe? But that’s beside the point because no one can _know_ I can. It takes years and years of practice outside of culinary school to get to where my granddad was. He taught me young and I caught on early and that’s how I know the things I do. But to everyone else, my co-workers, my boss...I’m a pretty good chocolatier but only two years out of school. Coming up with a huge line on my own would be...strange. It would raise questions. One of them being how I’ve learned it all.”

Snap grins. “And that’s where the omitting comes in.”

Rey’s intrigued, even though the thought of omitting more about her past makes her nerves return. “How do you mean?”

“You were technically your grandpa’s apprentice, right?”

“In a way…”

“So you play that up. Say you’ve gotten in touch with the apprentice of the chocolatier responsible for the original recipes your shop uses. It’s not a lie, per se. You can get ‘in touch’ with yourself, make a bomb ass chocolate line, present it to your boss, and still earn brownie points for showing initiative. No one will know you're the person behind the recipes. At the competition, no one is going to refer to it as ‘Rey’s chocolate line’, so the attention won’t be focused on you. Easy.”

Rey splutters, unable to comprehend how Snap has been able to come up with this detailed of a plan in less than a minute. She isn’t the only one taken aback. Tallie reaches out and _whacks_ him on the back of his head.

“Ow! What the hell!”

“Are you out of your mind? Did you not listen to a word she said before? She’s in this mess because of lies. She can’t keep telling more. That’s just going to make it worse. The fact you would even suggest that is just...just—ugh!”

Bodhi, desperately trying to de-escalate the situation, looks around imploringly at the rest of the group. “Anyone else have an idea?”

Kaydel opens her mouth to say something, but Tallie chimes in again before she can. “I think you should tell the truth, Rey. Come clean, at least to your boss. I know it’s scary to think about putting yourself out there and jeopardizing your new job, but it’s the _responsible_ thing to do,” Tallie urges, giving Snap a strong case of side-eye as she emphasizes the word ‘responsible.’

Deep down, Rey knows that Tallie is right. She considers herself a good person for the most part. Putting the future of the shop in jeopardy, not to mention her budding relationship with Ben, because she can’t get it together and face her fears? That doesn’t strike her as something a good person would allow to continue. A good person would tell their boss and deal with the consequences, whatever those may be.

Bodhi clears his throat when it looks like Tallie is about to keep going. “Let’s agree to table this discussion for now. Rey has a lot to think about now based on your feedback.” Tallie crosses her arms, still visibly annoyed, and gives Rey a meaningful look that clearly says ‘do the right thing to avoid my judgy eyes from now until infinity’.

Rey evades this look as best as she can, hoping Tallie doesn’t corner her in private once group is over. “Thanks for listening, everyone. I...definitely have some decisions to make.”

“Thanks for sharing, Rey,” everyone answers back.

Luckily, Tallie doesn’t come for her, instead opting to rip Snap a new one as everyone else collects their belongings and stops by the refreshment table at the back of the room.

Kaydel sidles up to Rey as she’s surveying the snack selection. “Sorry I didn’t offer any help back there, Rey. Couldn't really get a word in between Snap and Tallie. Those two need to do us all a favor and bang. Way too much tension there.”

Rey smothers a surprised laugh in a bite of brownie. “Well, that’s...one way to solve it, I suppose. And it’s okay! Snap and Tallie are the two extremes of advice giving, so...everyone else’s would have fallen in the middle of theirs, I reckon.”

“Pretty much. All I was going to add is take care of yourself. That’s the most important thing, okay?” Kaydel gives her a friendly pat on the shoulder and reaches for the vegan-friendly fudge that Rey always brings, stashing several pieces away in a napkin. “I've gotta run. Thank you for always making these for me, Rey. See you next time?”

“Next time, yeah. Hopefully.”

Rey finishes her brownie and is just about to fill up a styrofoam coffee cup for the bus ride home when she sees the newcomer approach her. To her surprise, he smiles at her. That’s the biggest reaction she’s seen out of him so far, the second being his short but unnerving stare down during the meeting.

“Hello,” she smiles back, motioning to the coffee dispenser. “Would you like a cup?”

“Can’t. Gives me horrible heartburn, sadly. I was actually wondering if I could have a word with you?” He glances toward Kallus and Bodhi, both of whom are busy stacking the plastic chairs from the meeting while Snap and Tallie continue to argue back and forth in a corner. “Outside where it’s quieter, maybe?”

“Uh...sure.” She has no idea who this guy is, but she’s not getting any bad vibes from him. Weird vibes, but not bad. To be safe, she locates the pepper spray in her purse while she follows him out of the community center to the courtyard out front. He takes a seat on a bench overlooking the lawn and she hesitantly sits down beside him and sips her coffee, waiting for him to speak. She halfway wonders if he’s going to give her a stern talking to not unlike Tallie had. He seems like the kind of no-nonsense dad type who would love that.

He sighs quietly and turns to face her. “Listen...I’m not usually one for giving advice. Advice can only get you so far. I’m a firm believer that you have to make your own decisions. So I’m not going to tell you what I think you should do, because my opinion is that you should do what feels right for you. Trust and believe in yourself. You have everything you need already. In here.” He pats his chest right on top of his heart then taps his forehead. “And in here.”

Rey releases the tension she’d been holding in since he approached her. She’d been _so_ off the mark about the strict dad thing. He’s more like a hippie uncle than a dad. Maybe for this reason, his words hold more meaning and far less guilt than Tallie’s had. “That’s...thank you. That’s what I needed to hear.” And now she’s tearing up again. Perfect.

He smiles, his blue eyes crinkling at the corners. “It’s the truth. Your life is what you make it. Sometimes we take a step forward and then a step back. But it’s still movement, isn’t it? Our blunders, mistakes and mishaps? All part of the journey. Some journeys are just longer and windier than others.”

Rey nods. What he’s saying is a bit more...new age-y than she’s used to hearing out of her support group, but she understands him and appreciates that he’s taking the time to speak to her, especially since he didn’t say one word himself during the meeting. “Are _you_ okay?” she asks.

“Oh, I’m fine. It’s kind of you to ask, but I’m fine.”

“It’s just...you didn’t talk during the meeting so I was wondering what was up.”

“Truth be told, I don’t come to these meetings for myself.”

“So...you don’t have social anxiety?”

“Oh, I do. It’s never not with me. But I’m an old fart. I’ve learned to deal with it in my own way.” He chuckles softly to himself, his eyes miles away. “No, I’ve started coming to these because I have a nephew who’s struggling with the same thing and I want to help him. Thinking back to how carefree he was as a kid, and then seeing where he is now...it hurts. I want to see him happy. He’s existing, but I don’t think he’s truly happy.”

“I’m sorry.” Rey doesn’t pry about his family. If he wanted to tell her more he would, but he’s grown awfully quiet, the warmth that was in his eyes before no longer there. “Are the meetings helping you at all?”

“Some. Kallus recommended a therapist, and as far as I know my nephew is still going to sessions with the guy. I was surprised that he went in the first place, actually, seeing as I didn’t directly suggest it. I mentioned it to my sister - his mom - and she passed the word along. So...it’s an encouraging sign that he’s kept with it, I think.”

“Definitely. Do you think your nephew would want to come to group with you sometime, too?”

“Maybe someday. Someday even soon. The universe is full of surprises.” He pats her knee once and stands up again. “Well, I’d better get going. My brother-in-law and I have a longstanding tradition of Wednesday night cosmic bowling.”

“Cosmic bowling?”

“You know, with black lights. You any good at bowling?”

Rey shakes her head. “I’m dreadful. Like, still missing the pins with the lane bumpers up kind of dreadful.”

“Hm. You should come along sometime. I could show you a thing or two. The blue raspberry slurpees are half price on Wednesdays, too, if that’s any further incentive.”

Rey smiles. “Sounds tempting, but I should get going, too. I’ve got to get a plan together before work tomorrow.” Trying her best to ignore the returning dread in the pit of her stomach, Rey stands and collects her coffee cup from where she’d set it down. She needs all the caffeine she can get for the night ahead. “Thank you for talking to me. I really appreciate it.”

“Don’t mention it. See you around, kid.” He shoves his hands in his pockets and meanders his way down the gravel path of the courtyard, throwing over his shoulder, “Oh, and for what it’s worth? Your boss isn’t going to fire you if you do end up telling him tomorrow. If that’s part of your plan.”

He’s lost her there. He may seem wise, but he’s not all knowing. “How do you figure that?” she asks, hurrying after him.

He stops suddenly, turns around, and winks at her, of all things. “Call it intuition. He’d have to be a pretty poor excuse for a businessman to let someone like you go. Yet the place is still in business, isn’t it? That tells you all you need to know about him.” He nods sagely and continues on walking.

Rey watches him go, chewing on her lip as she ponders over everything. He’s an odd one, and in spite of him seeming like he’s got a few loose screws, he’d done more to ease her mind than anyone else in the meeting had. He’d make a great mentor. Or, if not a mentor, at least a friend. A kooky, Gandalf the Grey kind of friend who blows your mind with wisdom one minute and talks about blue slurpees the next.

She just has to remember to ask him his name next time they meet or else Gandalf is definitely going to stick.

***

Ben had thought that _Say It With Sugar_ ’s entry into the chocolate competition was a mistake. It is, but now there’s an even bigger one.

When Phas had slapped the local newspaper down on his desk this morning, it had taken him a moment to realize what exactly was so significant about it. He’ll occasionally skim the paper over breakfast but there’s never much substance to it. Coruscant High School's football team always gets some news coverage, and the small but thriving art community near the lake district advertises monthly events, but overall, the town is a fairly typical New England one: moderately populated but quiet and unnoteworthy.

Except for today.

“Motherfucker,” Ben growls, reading over the headline for what feels like the thousandth time.

 _Say It With Sugar to Debut New Line of Chocolate Ahead of Competition_ _._

The article doesn’t list a specific source for the information - what kind of shoddy newspaper doesn’t list its sources?! - but Ben knows exactly how this fabricated idea about a new chocolate line got out.

Snoke had mentioned it in his email yesterday. At the time Ben has chalked it up to a misunderstanding on Snoke’s part, but now he knows that wasn’t the case. The bastard has gone through the trouble of _paying for a front page news spot_ so that everyone in town knows about this made-up chocolate line. The man is trying to intimidate and sabotage him, and it’s working.

Since the news broke out this morning, the phone has been incessantly ringing with calls from interested customers as well as retailers around town who are interested in carrying the line within their stores. All of this would normally be excellent for the business - if not for the fact that this _damn chocolate line doesn’t exist_. Phasma has given non-answers to everyone who has called, Ben’s spent the better part of the afternoon looking into whether he’s within rights or can even _afford_ to take legal action against Snoke, and now he’s trying to draft a statement for the newspaper to fix all of this. It’s safe to say this day couldn’t possibly get any worse.

The office phone rings at that exact moment, as if mocking him. He glances at the number and recognizes it. His mom. At least it’s someone he knows this time. He picks it up to spare Phasma the trouble of another phone call.

“Mom, this is really not a good time to talk - if you’re wondering about the article, just forget it—”

“What article? Oh, that article. Well no, I wasn’t calling about that, though I am over the moon to hear about a new line—”

“Yeah well, it’s not happening, so just forget about it.”

“Oh dear. Did something happen with Rey? I haven’t heard from you since the party. That’s why I called. Really, I didn’t mean to meddle but I thought it was important that you know about her, because how could you let someone as valuable as her slip through your—”

“What - _What_?” What the hell does Rey have to do with anything? His mom makes the most bizarre mental leaps sometimes and his brain is getting fucking whiplash from trying to follow her train of thought and he _doesn’t have time for this_ _—_

There’s a knock on his office door. He glances up and freezes. It’s Rey. Here. While he’s on the phone with his mom, who seems hellbent on talking about her.

He abruptly hangs up and changes the phone settings so that any future calls go straight to voicemail. He already knows his mom is going to chew his ass about it later, but whatever. Her being mad at him is just another thing to add to his ever growing list of problems.

Ben checks his watch and sees that it’s nearly five. Work for Rey usually ends around four. So what is she still doing here? Does she need a ride home? In spite of the spectacularly shitty mood he’s been in for the whole day, the possibility of spending time with her on a drive across town dulls his anger. A few weeks ago he’d deliberately changed the shop’s hours to _avoid_ that ever happening and now here he is, actively hoping that it does.

Rey stands in the doorway for a few seconds and then tentatively steps inside. “Is now a bad time?”

He wants to say that it’s never a bad time where she’s concerned, that he’ll always make time for her because he is in _deep_ but that’s...no. Too much. “It’s as good a time as any. What’s up?”

She takes a seat in the chair across from his desk - unprompted this time so that’s progress, surely? - and pulls her phone out of her jacket pocket. She glances down at it for a moment, then back at him, and that’s when he realizes her hands are shaking. Badly.

“Rey?”

She pushes her phone across the desk towards him. The article about the chocolate line is pulled up on the screen. _Fuck_. He and Phasma had purposely not said anything to the staff until they developed a game plan but it’s only natural that some of them would have seen the news and been curious, or even angry. They’re the ones who make the chocolate, after all. Unveiling an entire new line without running it by them firsthand is...yeah. Not a good look. Ben passes her phone back to her and leans back in his seat, running his hand through his hair as he figures out what to say.

“Look, it’s—”

“It was me.”

Ben freezes. “What?”

Rey breathes out a shaky sigh and balls her hands in her lap. “Yesterday, that man Snoke came here, and he was - he was being extremely rude, and insulting the chocolate in front of customers and saying we didn’t stand a chance in the competition and it just...slipped out. I don’t know what came over me. I wanted to shut him up and it worked. Momentarily. Except now it looks like he's gone and had something published about it and - I don’t have an excuse. This is my fault. And I’m _so_ sorry.”

Of all the things he’d expected her to say, he had most definitely not been anticipating _that_. “So the new line...was your idea? And Snoke believed it?” he asks. She’s just told him that’s exactly what happened but...he’s having a hard time reconciling the woman in front of him, sweet and unassuming, to one who would butt heads with someone as intimidating as Snoke.

Rey nods. “Yes. It was a stupid lie said out of anger and now it’s landed this shop in trouble and - I’m going to make it up to you. I promise.”

Ben stands up from his desk and goes to the door to shut it. Then he stands there, hands behind his back, as he tries to process all of this without losing his shit. All of what she’s said. And she’s said _a lot_ _._

As angry as he is that he’s been put this position, he’s not mad at her. Snoke is still the one who took the information, no matter how wrong the information was, and went to the press with it. Snoke is the one who is actively trying to ruin the business. Ben was right about him. The man is a shark. One who gets particularly vicious when things don’t go his way. Ben refusing his offer to buy out the business had just been the start of it. If Ben doesn’t square up, and soon, Snoke is going to make sure he fails. He’s still probably going to fail anyway, what with how greatly the odds are stacked against this chocolate shop - but at least the failure will be on Ben’s terms. Not Snoke’s. He’s not going down without fighting back. Rey, facing off against Snoke - that had been the start of the fight. Now there’s only one way forward, as far as he can see.

“We’ve been using the same recipes for years and years. Since my grandfather ran this place. There’s a reason for that. Creating a new line takes time, grunt work, money, and no small amount of ingenuity. You know this. Mitaka and Finn know it, too. You are all hard working, capable chocolatiers with the education to prove it. So we’ll...figure something out. None of us may have the skill set to create competition worthy chocolates within a month, but dammit—”

“I do,” Rey pipes up.

Ben turns around to face her again. She stands up, clutching a piece of paper to her chest. “You do - what?”

“I - I have the skill set. I came up with a list. Last night. There’s fifteen here, so far. I tested them all. I can come up with more, if need be.”

She crosses the room to him and hands him what he now sees is not one paper, as he had thought, but several pieces stapled together. There on the first page, in small, neat handwriting, is a chocolate recipe complete with detailed, step-by-step instructions. There’s even a sketch in the top right corner of what the finished design will look like. He skims the next recipe, then the next one after that. Cardamom. Peppercorn. Rosemary. Thai basil. One with...bacon? He’s never tried chocolate with flavors like these. To say he’s stunned is an extreme understatement. He’s _blown away_.

“You did this? All of this?”

“I was half asleep, so some of them might not make any sense, but - yes. I did.”

He shakes his head in awe, staring down at the few precious pieces of paper that could potentially help them win the competition and save the shop. He’s not an expert by any means - his chocolatiers will be making the chocolates, not him - but he instinctively knows how special these creations are. How good they’ll taste. How unique they’ll look.

“I - what - how...how did you learn all of this? _Where_ did you learn all of this?” he asks, looking up at her again. The excitement that’s been steadily building up inside him stops when he gives her a once-over. Her eyes are wide and her hands are trembling again. Her mouth is, too. _Shit_. She looks like she’s on the verge of tears. “Rey?”

“I’m sorry.” She stops, her voice quivering, and then takes a sharp intake of breath before she continues at a much faster pace. “Um. There are some things that I haven’t told you about my background. I didn’t just learn how to make chocolate from culinary school. I knew before, and - I haven’t told anyone who works here about this, because I don’t want to draw attention to myself. I get nervous when that happens. Beyond nervous, and...if that happens at the competition, I don’t know what—” She breaks off again, stifling a sob with a hand over her mouth.

Instinctively, he knows. Everything is starting to click together. The texts and phone call from his mom about Rey? It’s to do with this. Her training, her background? His mom had found something out. Nothing bad, he thinks; his mom had called Rey valuable and she has just proven to him that’s the case. But it’s clear she doesn’t want to talk about it, whatever ‘it’ is. She’s so nervous she’s shaking like a leaf, and if there’s anyone who can relate to feelings of nervousness, it’s him. She doesn’t have to explain herself. He doesn’t _care_ about where she learned to create recipes as detailed as the ones she’s just given him, or why she’s so hesitant to talk about it.

She’s here with him, talking to him. That’s enough.

“You know what? Forget I asked. It’s none of my business anyways. You’ve given me all the information I need right here.” He folds up the pieces of paper and crosses to his desk, placing them in one of the drawers.

Rey follows after him. “But - what about everyone else? Finn, Mitaka? Phasma? They’re confused and wondering about the new line, too, and I don’t know what to say—”

“I’ll handle it.” He nods encouragingly and smiles at her when she just stares at him, face blank. “Yeah, I’ll handle it. Don’t worry. You just go home and get some sleep. Did you get _any_ sleep at all last night?” he asks, even though the dark circles under her eyes speak for themselves.

“I...dozed, here and there.”

“Take tomorrow off, then.”

“I can’t do that - there’s work to do—”

“ _Rey_. Stay home. It will take at least a few days for me to order everything for the new recipes, okay?”

She’s silent for a moment and then she starts to cry again. Fuck. What had he said?

“Rey?”

She wipes furiously at her cheeks with her jacket sleeve. “Will I be fired? After the competition? I’ll - I’ll stick around until then regardless, but I'd rather know now. So I can prepare.”

Ben rears back. “What? No, no you’re not going to be - why do you always think I’m going to fire you?”

Rey winces, wringing her hands. “Because I screwed up? Because it’s all my fault? And I just think that - why _wouldn’t_ you fire me, honestly, after all of this?”

He can’t deal with not touching her anymore. He has to, _he has to_. He reaches out to take her hand in his and squeezes it gently. “Because I can’t lose you. That’s why.” The double meaning of his words isn’t lost on him. Losing another chocolatier would be detrimental to the business but losing _her_? Rey? He can’t even fathom it. “You’re important here, Rey.” _Important to me_. “This is where you belong, okay? I’m not here to fire you, or yell at you, or anything else. I’m here to help you. So can you help me, by coming to me first next time there’s a problem?”

“Okay.” Her lower lip is trembling again and he wants so _badly_ to kiss her. But Phas is still in her office just down the hall, and all professionalism aside, he’d promised himself that he would take Hux’s advice and step back to respect Rey’s boundaries. So he compromises and hugs her. It’s more of a friendly sort of squeeze than anything else, but she returns it in full force, her hands fisting the fabric of his shirt.

“Thank you.” Her words are muffled but he hears them.

He stamps down the urge to run his fingers through her hair, or wipe any leftover tears from her face. Both of those things are decidedly boundary crossing. “It’s going to be okay. Even if we don’t win. We’ll still have a new line of chocolate and interested customers. It’ll keep things going.” _For a little while longer, at least_ , he thinks.

Rey pulls away from him and shakes her head. “No, _no_. We _have_ to win, Ben. _We have to_. I want that - that wrinkly _dickhead_ looking gremlin to regret the day he ever tried to fuck with this chocolate shop,” she snarls.

“Whoa.” Ben blinks. Her angry outburst had caught him by surprise, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t like this side of Rey. Determined, competitive, passionate...passionate about something to do with him? It’s nice. Nicer than just nice, actually. It’s a turn on, he realizes. _Dammit_. Definitely not conducive to setting boundaries.

“Sorry.” Rey winces. “That was a bit harsh.”

Ben schools his face into an expression that he hopes doesn’t broadcast _I am really,_ really _attracted to you, especially when you’re angry_. “It wasn’t. He _is_ a gremlin. And...we’re gonna beat him.”

“Yeah?”

Ben nods. “Yeah.”

Rey smiles for the first time since their conversation started and it fully cements his decision. They’re going to do this. They’re going to New York, and they’re going to compete in one of the world’s most prestigious chocolate competitions, because now they have a fighting chance.

All thanks to her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm baack with a longer update to make up for the stupidly long wait between chapters. I'm on break from school until August so I'm hoping to update more frequently now that I have zero assignments hanging over my head. 
> 
> Shoutout to [forcebondedreylo](http://forcebondedreylo.tumblr.com)/iamladyloki and [miriofnowhereinparticular](http://miriofnowhereinparticular.tumblr.com) for beta reading this chapter! forcebondedreylo also suggested characters to include in the support group and I'm so glad she did because it was SO much fun writing a group dynamic. 
> 
> [Aesthetic for this chapter.](http://fettuccine-alfreylo.tumblr.com/post/174087943439/say-it-with-sugar-chapter-8-ben-solo-is-the)
> 
>  
> 
> [Playlist.](https://open.spotify.com/user/sehigh91/playlist/2cYwtGUC2GJ2cTGyVLs2tz)
> 
>  
> 
> If you like this story, please share it with a friend! Comments and kudos are also very much appreciated xoxo


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